A quick note

So if you've been reading my blog for a while now then you know that when it comes to me posting on my computer, I have serious issues. Anyone remember when I talked about getting a new laptop? Well hello procrastinating tight-wad! I keep putting it off because in all honesty I hate spending large amounts of money at once. It literally causes me anxiety with a side dish of nausea.

HOWEVER! I am proud to announce that I did it. I ended up not buying a laptop nor desktop. I actually went with an iPad instead. Talk about blogging on the go! Ha! So happily I can say that I will now be blogging more frequently, unless time prohibits.

Ps. If you're looking at buying an iPad and need a second opinion: DONT HESITATE! Buy one! I love mine and I've had it less than 24 hours! Hehe.

the meeting

Why is it that every time something seems so right, I want to pick up my heels and run like hell? It's this never ending cycle. When something is so good in my life it's like I want to screw it up so it fits in with everything else. I think I'm losin' it.

Other news, I met the parents yesterday... and the sister... and the nieces and nephews. Oh and the home town friends, paster, youth group partner, and the whole youth group. It was different. It's almost like I went back in time when I was a little girl. My hometown use to be super small and nonexistent just like K's was. It's like being around people who just like being around one another. No walmart. No mall. No fast food on every corner. Mom and pop stores filled the roads where empty woods didn't. It felt like home. Red lights consisted of people honking their horns at one another just to say hello. At one point we were at a stop sign and K honked his horn at a man in a truck and they waved just like they saw each other yesterday. Come to find out it was the husband of a woman who took care of K when he was younger.

The meeting of the parents went far from expected. They're just good ole backwoods people with nothing to lose but love and faith.

Honestly, I loved every minute of it.

Merry Christmas y'all!

I hope everyone is having an amazing Christmas!! I know I am.

I have everything I want.
Amazing family
Amazing God.
Amazing man.

Tomorrow K -the guy Im dating- and I are going to his home town which is about 45 minutes away from where we live to go to church. He goes every Sunday however I have yet to go with him because that means I'll be meeting his parents. That's right tomorrow I'm meeting the parents! Talk about nervous. He doesn't understand why I'm so nervous because he's already met my parents and my sister. However, I had to explain to him that he went into meeting the parents not knowing that it could potentially be a deal breaker if they didn't like him, he on the other hand let me know upfront that he couldn't be with someone if his parents didn't like "her". So why wouldn't I be nervous!? Nevertheless I will be meeting them tomorrow and aside from my nerves I'm excited to see what makes him who he is. Can I just say that I'm overly thrilled that were going to church together. I've always wanted a guy that is willing to go to church with me and most say they will and then gripe about it later. So the fact that he asked me to go with him to his church made me ever so excited!!! The fact that he even has a church is even better!! Ah. Okay I'm going to calm down now cause I get all girly and giggly when talking about him it's kind of ridiculous. Haha.

Anyways I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year if I don't write before then :)

something new...

All that I've wanted for so long could possibly be here. I've wanted it for so long that I don't want to say too much and jinx it but I will say this, I am truly happy where I'm at right now.

I use to judge people who used dating websites. I actually laughed and thought that they were desperate. In the end is desperation measured by what lengths we will go to in order to find what we really want in life? If so, I'm desperate and I'm not ashamed to say so. I've hidden the fact that I joined a dating website because in reality I didn't want people thinking that I couldn't get a date on my own without using internet resources. However, I have come to a smarter, more realistic conclusion. There's no reason to be ashamed. By joining I cut through the crap and got down to what I was really wanting. I can't count how many dates I've been on and questioned myself on what the other person was really looking for. By dating via Internet I cut straight to the point. There's no wondering involved you know what they want i.e. sex, dating, long term. Though my best friend even gave me crap for it, she ended up joining just to see what it was like and what do ya know she's dating someone now that she actually met from there. HA!

Anyways so this is how the story goes: I had been on the site for probably 6 months. I talked to two guys in the that time frame, nothing serious. However this one profile kept showing up on my matches and something kept intriguing me about his picture. However, his picture had a kid in it and I'm not really into dating someone with children due to a prior bad experience. So I never clicked on his profile to even view it. Three months later I still keep seeing him pop up but now he has a different picture. So I finally click on his profile just to read what he's about however I never read whether or not he had children because subconsciously I had my mind made up that he did. Well not too long ago I read his profile one last time. Come to find out it's his niece and nephews. Also come to find out he goes to church every Sunday and sits with his grandfather then heads to his grandmas to eat breakfast and hang out with his niece and nephews. Godly man? Family man? ...you had me from hello! Ha.

So I messaged him and long story short we went on our first date which maybe one day I will go into more detail about. However I will say this, we were both so nervous that he even took his anxiety medication and brought a back up. Everything went great we've seen each other several times since and we text all day/night.

I'm super excited about this one.
However, in all honesty, I'm scared as hell.

stronger than today

Have you ever randomly thought about the random stuff you love? The random things in life that make you smile, laugh, or entertain you? I've been doing a lot of that lately. Considering I'm going through a rough time right now and all I have to talk/think about is negative stuff I figure what better subject to post about than the random goodies in life. ....look I'm searching for a positive in a pile of negs, if I sniff one out I'm taking it! So here we go my random list of things that make smile, laugh, and right out entertain me.

1. Two and a Half Men. Has anyone ever watched this!?! I've never been huge on sitcoms but omg I could watch it all day. It makes me chuckle. And tonight as I was waiting for it to come on I came across another show that made me laugh, which is hard to do right now so you know it's gotta be good, How I Met Your Mother. Good stuff right there.

2. You know that one pocket in your purse that you know could be useful for something however you never seem to take use of it? (I like to call it "My Forgotten Pocket"....not really but it makes for a good name). Anywaysss so today I went to grab something (I cant remember what now) from the pocket beside the forgotten pocket however my hand slipped in the forgotten pockets instead. And what did my little fingers find!?!?! A twenty dollar bill. Oh how I will start visiting the forgotten pocket more now. :-)

3. Infomercials. Don't ask I don't know why. Let's take the bare minerals infomercials... one of my favorites... I love watching them making over the girls. Normally I get the kick out of the ones pertaining to all things beauty. I don't know they just make me smile. Next....

4. When you discover a great deal. Who doesn't? So self-explanatory.

5. When you realize someone cares more than you thought they did. Though this person has been in my life since day one, I never knew how much she cares and is willing to stick by me until now. She's really shown me a lot within the past 24hrs and for the simple fact that she has continuously checked up on me within the past 24hrs means more to me then she'll ever know.

Okay for now I'm going to try to catch some zZzZzZz's.

Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow I'll be stronger, because by tomorrow I will have grown from today.

the hurt

My heart hurts. I keep trying to put on a pretty little smile and pretend everything is okay yet in the end it's not.

Have you ever literally had the physical pain deep down in your chest? The one where for a couple of minutes you feel as if you could potentially be experiencing heart failure?

It hurts.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Mentally.

gobble, gobble...

Yeah yeah... I went on a mini blogcation again. So much has been going on, once again... with work. My partner went on maternity leave, therefore everything that use to be handled with four hands was being handled with just two. Those two hands were my own. Stress overload, multiple migraines, and a full plate (and this plate wasn't filled with turkey and dressing...). Speaking of! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

This year the family came to my house. After two days prep it was over in the blink of an eye. I guess that's the way it always goes. Anyways... this was Jacob Riley's first year to eat a thanksgiving meal. Unfortunately he was a bit under the weather so I don't think he got the chance to enjoy to the full capacity. Poor baby. Needless to say, he currently has six stitches in his chin from falling and busting it open. Once they're mobile... they're mobile... lol.

Anywho, I'm not going to post a novel because I'm watching some show on NBC about the people of the year. Currently they're featuring Justin Timberlake, and in my opinion that's definitely something to look at ;) hehe...

So goodnight lovelies, happy thanksgiving, and oh, PS! be careful and have fun shopping on the ultimate shopping day: BLACK FRIDAY!