shower poop

If you have an iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, or a smart phone in general than chances are you're going to connect with me here.

Lately everything I text, email, and even try to blog about my iPhone and iPad try to be a smart ass and autocorrect me. Granted, I am very thankful for the times I misspell words because I'm in a hurry and it lends me a hand, but when I type shit...I meant to type shit not shot not shut...SHIT! It also like to make bitch a butch which is also halfway aggravating. Needless to say my issues mainly result from cuss words. But it also tries to make "I've" into vie and ice, had into has, can into van...the list goes on.

My favorite autocorrect that was unfortunately sent in a text message before catching...

attempted to say: "alright well I'm going to pop in the shower and then I'll be there"

autocorrected into: "alright well I'm going to poop in the shower and then I'll be there.

Major fail. Luckily my boyfriend is understanding that my phone tries to talk over me.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

seriously?! monday

It has been one of those Monday's that makes me think wow...seriously?! I woke up this morning, after pressing the snooze button numerous times (I swear if it weren't for Honey I would never make it to work on time) and I was extremely tired. The drive to work wasn't any better. I finally realized this morning how it is possible for people to fall asleep while driving. I kept having to double blink in hopes to wake up a little more, it didn't work out like planned. This is what going back to work is like after having a four day vacation? Seriously? I thought I would be fully energized and ready to kick some ass, yeah total opposite.

Upon reaching for a much needed an item in order to do my job, I realized that SAB didn't replace what she had used while I was gone. Seriously?! I could strangle that cunt. However, I made do and continued on my merry way.

Later, after waiting on several customers I get a phone call. dun dun dun dun... A woman apparently stopped by the drive thru and ordered "extra" sauce. However, she really only specified that she wanted sauce with her plate, not potato. I'm all about some accuracy, I would not have effed that up. When asking my employee who had waited on the customer about how old she was she told me the customer had to of been late thirties, mid forties. Eh hem, the lady on the phone could not have been no more older than 25 Bee, my employee, also said that the woman had an "adult" voice, not one that sounded like a child. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Someone got her lunch, she didn't get the sauce that she wanted but the other person did because she specified however she wants to get angry and take it out on me...and I quote, "I just wanted to call and say thank you for screwing up my lunch! How can I eat a potato with no sauce?! So thank you for ruining my lunch as well as ruining my day"...click. WTF!? First of all, people eat potatoes without bbq sauce on the DAILY. It is not a requirement, I'm sorry you're abnormal to the point you let a fucking potato ruin your day. SERIOUSLY?!?! Instead of getting mad I laughed at her stupidity. It's one thing if I give you the wrong meat, side item, leave out butter or cheese or even sour cream, I cannot help that you want to add extra calories to your already carb-loaded lunch. I hope it goes straight to her ass. She was probably fat, just saying.

Honey and I are about to leave for the gym. I hope I can get a good work out in. I ate crappy yesterday and I could go for a good burn. Hope everyone is having a happy Monday! It's snowy, soggy, and just plain nasty here. To think, it was in the 70's last week. You know what they say, "If you don't like the weather in Tennessee come back in a day."

old meets lame

I quickly realized Saturday night as to why I don't "go out" more frequently. Why you ask? Well let me give you a quick recap:

-I'm very easily annoyed when it comes to drunken fools bumping into me. We even moved our hightop table back, and as we moved so did the drunks.

-Running into someone previously dated that ended on sour notes, ie we both quit talking to each other and in my head I ended it with him, in his head I'm sure he thinks he played me off. Typical male, naturally. He eye balled me and turned away so being the alcohol induced, liquid courage bitch that I am, of course I walked straight up to him and said "oh how nice of you to check me out and then quickly look away when I caught your eyes" his response, "oh sorry I didn't notice you" and in his attempts to smooth things over I left him standing there feeling like a jack ass when I promptly responded "oh that's fine, I wish I would have never noticed you" then walked my happy ass to the bar to get two beers for me and my Honey.

-Seeing someone from college that participated in the same fraternity as I, yeah that's awkward. Of course he saw me as the party girl that I once was so once he saw me inside later on, he came up to the table and proceeded with small talk. Not just the small talk you carry on with someone you havent seen in a while, the small talk where you lean in close and talk personally. Luckily, Honey returned from the bathroom in a quick minute so I could promptly introduce him as my boyfriend. Needless to say, that 'small talk' ended quickly after and he went on his merry way.

-We arrived at 9:30-10:00, and I already questioned if I would make it to 11. Yawning took place and the thought of our bed sounded amazing. I'm not the spring chicken I once was, unfortunately, so I was already ready to call it a night. Wow, that's embarrassing, I'm only 22.

-Typically being, a less than favorite topic was brought up in the midst of conversation. The topic leaving me ill and angered ready for an exit on the asap. Being that I had a few drinks in me the ride home was less than pleasant, I was frustrated and ready to pop off.

-Even more so typically being, after a few drinks I was ready for the bedroom boom by the time we got home. Frustrated and all, I wanted to get steamy. Of course, I was denied. Waking up still angry this morning.

It's a rainy Sunday and I look forward to spending it doing absolutely nothing even though there's a Titan's game today. We are foregoing sitting in the freezing rain and I'm spending it snuggled up with a warm cup of coffee and a blanky. Ah!-mazing...

The difference (18+)

...that no work and being in love can make.

Disclaimer:
This is an 18+ blog post. If you are under the age of 18 or are offended by sexual content, please skip reading this post.
————

If there is one thing I've learned about being in a long term relationship, its that the sex isn't always going to mind blowing. There are going to be the quickies, you're not quite there yet but he can't wait any longer I personally like to think it's because my pikachu (vagina) is just that amazing. There are going to be the distractions, you're trying to focus but you let everyday life and stress get in the way of your moment. And there are going to be the cliff falls, you're right at the peak where you're about to have a great orgasm and all of a sudden it disappears and you hit rock bottom all over again. It has nothing to do with neither you or your partner, it's just natural.

Normally, and unfortunately, mine and Honey's sex here lately has something holding us back. His roommate is in the other room so we have to be quiet, we've been working all day so we hardly have the strength to put into an orgasm, we are worn out and try to just "get it over with". Always something. Last night however, we held nothing back even though his roommate was just on the other side of the wall...shhh....

We headed to take our shower together like we normally do, it's completely nonsexual majority of the time considering I'm not a huge fan of shower sex. All of a sudden I look down and see his rock hard member...it was possibly smiling at me, and since he had acted not interested in sex all day, I was bothered because I hate being teased. He assured me it was no tease, hehe blushing, and wanted to proceed to do the shower plunge. I denied his request because I didn't want shower sex, and once again hating being teased, I knew I wouldn't be able to reach my "O face moment". Honey ended up surprising me saying that we were going to start in the shower and end in the bed. You can only imagine how excited I was, this means we will be taking our time and building it all up! Woooohoooo!

To sum things up without too much graphic detail, it was an orgasm like I've never experienced! My legs were shaking, heart racing, forehead sweating, wet hair, and tingling pikachu. I have never in all my sexcapades EVER experienced sex like that! There was so much passion and intensity, it left me speechless. Honey even responded, "are you going to be okay?". I guess us both having time off from work and stress has really paid off.

Then again, sex hasn't been the same since I realized I don't just love him. I'm madly in love with him.


Honey's totally going to strut around like a peacock after reading this. It's okay to give him a big head every once in a while...I just know the next time the sex is fair, I'll be sure to let him know he's slacking. Haha!

vaca lovin

Um, so can I tell you I'm still in love with my new shoes!? Ah they make my feet so happy!

This morning Honey and I slept in, literally. I haven't slept past 7:30am in a long time! I'm almost ashamed to say it, but we slept in till 9am. Shriek! I know, I know. I think I failed to mention Wednesday-ish that I took four days off of work. Thursday-Sunday. Honestly, I don't even know what to do with myself. I have even ignored all calls from work and employees. This time, I want to actually be off work. I find if it's important, they'll call the Big Man, and if it's extremely important in reference to me, the Big Man will give me a call. Can't ignore his call, obviously.

After Honey gave in to me begging allowed me to start my morning with a cup of coffee, nicotine, and a call to my mother (the way I prefer to start any day) we headed to the gym. Unlike yesterday, which I believe was due to all the bad food we consumed, I got a hell of a work out in today.

Later we went to lunch at Subway followed by some errands. Honey bought me a new high impact sports bra woohoo! because my tatas were getting in the way of me trying to lift weights. I don't have a large chest, but since I've lost some weight my current sports bra isn't giving me the support and compression that I need. Now we are I'm doing some laundry and resting up a bit, and by this I mean we are watching college football and being lazy :P. What? I'm on vaca from work, totally allowed!

Honey mentioned us going on a date tonight. After the bedroom boom that took place last night, I'm extremely excited. But we'll save that for a later post of it's own ;)

BF mission

My Black Friday shopping trip went more along the lines of unexpected. I ended up not buying anything when we went. We ended our trip fairly early at 1:30 because my BIL made plans for him and my sister knowing that we were spending a girls day, that's the norm. So being bummed out I ended up calling it a day myself, the gym closed at 6PM instead of the regular 10 so I figured I would shop a little more on my own so that way I could conquer more in my limited time frame instead of having to worry about what other people rather be doing ie going to Pier1. Don't get me wrong, I love that store, but it's not my ideal place to be hitting up when I'm trying to score the mother load. So I decided to fly solo.

Honey's sister asked me to stop by Old Navy to get a jacket for one of her kids that was suppose to be on sale. Here's where they get you: in the commercial they talk about these $70 jackets being $25, they even slide in a few pictures of different jackets; you arrive to the store you don't read the fine print, so of course all the jackets on the rack with the big % off advertisement is said % off right? I mean it was even in the commercial! Luckily being the smart ass that I am, also too lazy to stand in an ass long line only to find out I was paying full price, I read the small print. Well, what do you know "all jackets excluding fleece pullovers and wool lined pea coats" and the jacket I was going for was the pea coat. Bummer.

So after I attempted to conquer my number one goal, I moved on. Next on list: gym shoes. After hitting up 7 different stores, I hit the goldmine. Suggested retail: $70+ bucks. My bargain bust: $54.99. Wuzzup?! Hehe.



I had to awkwardly turn my ankle in order to get a good side view...my legs are of no deformity.

Next I wanted to score some killer jeans. With hopes held high that I could go into Buckle and snag a pair of jeans under $60 I walked my little toosh in there like I owned the place only to promptly turn right back around and walk out. sigh. I didn't let this get me down though. The whole reason I went to buckle is because they have the large seam stitches that I've slowly fallen in love with. So I made it up in my head that there was no way that was the only place that had them. There MUST be a knock off in the mall somewhere! And what ya know?! Shabam! I went to Body Central and there they were hanging gloriously in the window, I even think angels were floating around them. OH! and in glitter and all the words "20% off entire store" almost made me have a shoppingasm. I picked up three pair and headed to the fitting room, where there are clearance racks all over the place. Holy moly! I spotted a pair for only 19.99! So instead of spending $40+ on a pair of jeans, I spent $30+ on TWO pairs.



okay so obviously my photography isn't all that great, but hello do you see those jeans? Um. Love.

Anybody liking the bachelor pad bed spread going on in the back drop of my jeans? Yeah I cant wait to ditch that shit when Honey and I have our own place. Hehe.

Speaking of Honey, don't worry I didn't leave his little booger butt out. I bought two shirts from old navy for him. One as a Christmas present addition and the other was a Titans tee that he so desperately needed due to his lack of game day gear. I ended up giving the other shirt to him already as well. I'm not good about stuff like that hehe. So in the end...


Mission: accomplished

Ringadingding!

I'm sure the majority have seen the Walmart commercial, the one that's halfway annoying, where she says "load up the sleigh! Ringadingding Ringadingding ring me up!" I tired to get a video but I just don't feel like putting forth so much effort this morning. Hehehe...

Anyways. I'm super exciting about the holidays this year. All of them, even thanksgiving. Honey and I celebrated our very first turkey day together. It was actually the best thanksgiving I've had since being a little kid. We spent it with my grandfather whom I haven't been able to celebrate it for the past 7 years. It was his first Thanksgiving since being out of prison. That story may, or may not, come in a later post. My mom's dad was also there along with her brother, my sister, BIL, and nephew. It was a really great time. Later we celebrated with Honey's family in DTown including his parents, grandpa, sister, BIL, his two nephews and his niece. I had been planning all along to take pictures, which should come to no ones surprise that I didn't take any. I've never been good at taking pictures during gatherings, im too much of a social butterfly. Hehe. So after the day was all said and done with, we retreated to our casa and I showered...where I remembered I had no recording of our first t-day.



Obviously he's worn out, all squinty-eyed hehe.

Today my mom, sister, and I are putting our brave suits on and heading out for a little shopping. We refuse to act like crazy fools, so we are doing it as a leisurely mother-daughters time and hoping to maybe score some deals. This will be the first time we've done a shopping trip altogether since childhood. I'm beyond excited!

How was yalls gobble day?