Wednesday, October 26, 2011

halloween hooker

Third post in a row, I'm going strong! Lol

So can I just say Halloween tends to be one of my favorite holidays and one of my worst enemies all in one. Let's face it who doesn't like dressing up as something they're not? Plus it's the one time you can look like a glorified hooker and not get shit for it. However, I understand Halloween is only but one time a year but is it really necessary to price gouge on such cheaply made clothing that once again...we wear one time a year? I'm not going to pay 80 bucks for a costume made out of such cheap fabric a homeless man wouldn't even want to wear it. Needless to say these so called "sexy" costumes that they come out with tend to highlight my not-so-glorious body parts, and by this I mean my gut, ass, and I swear the costumes make my boobs look smaller. Yeah that costume sure does look cute on that double zero model, but it's also shaped to fit that double zero model too. The typical curvy woman on the other hand? HA! not so much.

Last year I made a clean break. I went as Snooky from the ever-so-popular Jersey Shore. Easy: skimpy black dress, red hooker heels, huge hair poof, a fuck ton of eyeliner, and double that quantity in bronzer. Wah lah. However this year I, for the life of me, cannot make that same clean break. I thought about going as a trailer park princess: cut off blue Jean shirt from thrift store, tiara from walmart, and cowboy boots that are already in my closet. (I'm totally lying, those boots are shoved in my filthy car right now hehe). However I feel it's not the perfect 2011 Halloween costume. I only get to dress like a fool once a year. My costume will have to speak to me Hehe. I'm even giving up working on Saturday (yeah right, I'm still going in from 7-3 but I did give up a catering opportunity.) just so I can let loose at the halloween party held by one of Honey's friends.

Got any good ideas for costumes, cheap and easy but dont combine the two, I don't want cheesy!

Or you can just leave me a comment telling me what you're going to be :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The real diva bee, please stand up.

You see, originally I wanted my URL to be however, it was taken. After having for going on two years now, it has just now hit me hey! Let's go see who snatched the name up, only to find out they have written all of one blog post, and I thought I was bad? If you've read this blog for any time at all then you know I work for my dad at his restaurant and doing catering. Our specialty? Barbecue. Now I present to you, the one and only post ever made by "diva bee". me to a pork product.
I am a waitress.
Now, Im sure many have had the.."opportunity" to serve others, however, if you haven't.
I envy the shit out of you.

The simple task of making small, polite conversation with strangers gets harder and harder with every single step that I take in my ugly, faux Converse, non-slip shoes!

And on top of that, you want me to get their drinks and take their food order too!
man, you're killin me.

You see, some of you may be thinking, "ya know, there are worse things." But, i assure you, there are not. I've seen the dark side of the world, and unfortunately, Im employed there.
I work at a BBQ pit, where there are too many managers (and micro managers), too much BBQ sauce (I mean, that shit's everywhere), and so much pork product that Im starting to think the building is edible..perhaps Im pork product now.

Now, don't get me wrong, the cash is fast and the work is pretty much easy--but talkin about BBQ with customers is not an ideal conversation topic because not only do I not care at all, whatsoever, but neither do they. Yet my boss walks the floor to make sure i draw catchy and witty pictures on a plate, with different sauces.
im encouraged to start conversations about ribs. one gives a fuck.
If you came up to me and started talkin to be about pork ribs, I would look at you like you were an artard and then proceed to kick you. It's just the most appropriate response.
So i go to work everyday hoping no one will kick me.

But what's worse about the pit of hell??
It's exactly like HIGH SCHOOL. (Dun Dun Dun..)
yep. the same bitching, moaning, groaning, gossiping, hookups, scandals, sabotages..all for 5 tables, for 4 hours. Im the youngest employee there and have yet to fight with someone.
It's all the grown folks. It's stupid really.
But the juice, the drama, the gossip, it's bad man. There's bitches sleepin with GMs, people stealin BBQ, coke lines being snorted off the toliet paper dispenser in the men's bathroom, older guys wanting to get busy with little girls. What?

..hahaha, and the tipping?
should I get into that??
That's a whole 'nother blog.
but, it is 20% people.

I cannot help but to laugh at the irony of it all. Though my job is clearly nothing like this minus the sometimes it can be much like high school part... Oh and the snorting coke part....KIDDING! But the fact that she works in the barbecue business and sounds almost as big of a smart ass as me...definitely irony. Us divas must think very much alike.

Only I'm the real Diva Bee. ;)

you can find this post at though I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be hit with copyright bullshit considering this was posted in 2009. I'm showing I care.

And for those of you thinking "woohoo the diva made it back two days in a row!" yeah this shit was totally a scheduled post. Hehe.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Why yes, I'm alive.

Fact: I'm not good at blogging....consistently anyways.

I want to say, round of applause to you mommy bloggers out there that also run your household and hold a job. I don't have any children and I can hardly find the time to blog. And when I should have time, it is filled with other tedious must-dos. I would try to catch you up on everything that has taken place between my last rant and now, but lets face it you probably don't care and between work and there hasn't been much going on. However I will inform you that my Honey Bee and I are still together and going strong. I love him more and more everyday. December 5th will be our first anniversary and the thought of having him in my life for a solid year couldn't make me smile any brighter. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel as though once him and I have our own place that I will finally have time to enjoy my hobbies, blogging being one of them. Till then I bounce between his house and mine and work. I don't know how I ever had time to do anything before. I'm redy for life to slow down yet its only going to go faster from here out.

I know I said I wouldn't waste your time by filling you in on everything but I will waste your time by filling you in on tidbits. In the past month I have been to three weddings, several caterings, and have been working my ass off. Last Saturday I was literally at work from 7am to 9pm, only to get up the next morning and head to Honey's hometown for his nieces birthday. We made an early exit to return to work to figure out what was going on with the alarm and then finally, home at last. This past saturday I got off work at ten, headed to Honey's hometown for a wedding and then once again, early exit in order for me to get back to work. In the midst of my crazy work schedule my immune system decided to invite bronchitis and sinusitis over for a party, leaving me to be one drained puppy. In other news, one of my girls from work had a baby, another is pregnant, and my clock is still ticking at the innocent age of 22. Sheesh. Its not a constant ticking but it likes to start up every once in a while...ya know, till I hear screaming brats in a restaurant when Honey and I are trying to enjoy a dinner. Hehe...

So basically I keep attempting to try and get everything back on track but there's always that bump in the road that makes everything hectic and crazy all over again. Its never easy when my only day off I spend going to appointments, spending time with my mother and all the while trying to sleep in in order to catch up on the sleep I miss out on during the week.

Well now I'm off to rush and shower and spend time with the mom. Maybe I'll be back sometime this week but no promises.

Ps. I've missed y'all.