Friday, May 27, 2011

A 'cation

No worries my dear friends. I have not stopped blogging. This week has been hectic as all get out. I'm so wore out I could fall asleep standing up, just saying. I've hardly had time to breathe, I couldn't even think about blogging! However my hard working week is now over and I'm officially on vacation. Therefore I'm going on a blogcation till next week when I get back from my trip and whatnot so be looking forward to a vacation recap post. Chances of it being filled with pictures of my sweet Honey and I are very likely. :)

Till next week, much love!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, May 23, 2011

Work, sex, and family.

As I sit here and try to rack my brain for something exciting to post about, I find I have nothing impressive to write about at the moment. Therefore I'll give a weekend recap in hopes that I don't bore you too bad.

Friday Honey and I rode the Harley over to a friends house for a cook out. I was worn out from having a childlike meltdown earlier that day and was in no mood to be sociable and unfortunately I fear I may have come across snobby. Next time I'll make sure I liquor up so I can join in on conversations that mean nothing to me just so I can seem like I'm a halfway entertaining diva. It's kind of hard to be sociable when the only women there all have kids and are in a totally different social circle. Not to mention the fact that I'm 22 and they're all late 20s-40s.

Saturday I woke up looking hungover as hell even though not a drop was drank the previous night. (thanks to a boyfriend that kept me out late!) I worked 7am-12pm then came home and went to sleep till 7pm. Yeah, I get it...that's one hell of a nap. Shit I worked a 50hr week! When I woke from my slumber I got ready and went on a date with my Honey which I will later get into in another post- trust me, way too much rant for this one. I stayed at his house, which my parents are now aware of and are finally getting over it. Big shocker there!

Sunday Honey and I got up and went into work and prepared a catering. My sister was there as well preparing a pick up order for a local church so we kind of just hung out and talked. It was kind of nice spending some time with my sister. It doesn't happen as much anymore. We left there and went to Dover to eat at Nannies (Honey's grandmother), later catching up with his dad and heading to Hidden Creek on the Harley's to spend some time with his mom and enjoy a few beers.

By the time we got home we were both so worn out! We ate dinner and watched The Bounty Hunter with Jennifer Anniston and, my favorite, Gerard Butler. Boy would I love to jump on him like a cheetah in high tops!! Just saying. After all that I decided I was too tired to drive home so I stayed the night again at Honey's. We hadn't had sex in a week and by the end of the weekend, after staring at his sexy body for days straight...this little diva was ready to purr! Considering we were both tired I didn't expect much out of him. So while he watched the weather and the news I decided to take care of myself. Job completed, we cuddled up and went to sleep....or so I thought that was what we were going to do. We sleep naked so it was pretty easy access for him to surprise me. After making the bedroom boom for a while, off to sleep we went.

My weekend? Decent. I just wish it consisted of a little more relaxation. I'm still worn out.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, May 20, 2011

FUF: Letter to a coworker.

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Now I could list a bunch of fawk you's today and ramble on about each individual one or I could post one huge post about the number one thing going on right now that I want to tell to fawk off. I'll go with the number one thing that has peeved me this week so that way it won't be a mile long post. I want to entertain you, not take half of your morning up. So without further adieu I'll give you a letter to my self absorbed coworker that I would actually consider giving and saying all of this to if I knew it would cause trouble with the big man....

Dear SAB (self-absorbed bitch),
Thank you so much for always being there for me as well as everyone else that works for you. Don't let your head get too big quite yet, I'm talking about being there to tell The Big Man every time any of us mess up the slightest bit, or possibly my favorite when you're there to make shit up in your head that we did just to give yourself some horns to hold up that golden halo you wear so proudly. Thank you so much for helping us tell our personal problems, if you will, that we expose to you in confidentiality. You really know how to draw the line for us, making us do less work, thanks for the extra hand. Thank you for telling The Big Man that I was being a bitch towards you. Just because I'm not stuck up your stretch marked ass anymore doesn't mean that I'm being a bitch to you. If you would actually call and get to the fucking point instead of dicking around maybe I wouldn't get so hasty. I could go on and on with thanking you for truly showing you self absorbed, ignorant, immature colors but I'll end with my favoritest thank you of all. Thank you for talking behind everyones back expecting it to not get back to us. How about for five minutes you get off The Big Man's nuts and grow a set of your own. Oh wait you're too big of a little bitch to do so. Thanks for making work so pleasant. Yours truly.

Now go through and change all the thank you's to fawk you's. Better yet go ahead and get dirty and say FUCK YOU.

If you consider my letter mean or bitchy, trust me what I said was extremely sweet and nice compared to how I and the rest of my employees actually feel.

I hope everyone has a fawking fabulous weekend. Mine? I'll be working. Let's just hope I don't have to do too much dealings with SAB.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wee bit, yo.

Because I needed something to do while Honey cooked dinner.... obviously I'm extremely domestic.

{one} do you watch the history channel? if so, what’s your favorite program?
I hardly watch tv at all so I can't really answer this, especially since I dint think I could name one show on there lol.

{two} what is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
Sleep. But then again thats my favorite thing to do on any day hehe.

{three} what does your dream house look like?
Hmm...I havent really thought about it.

{four} what state were you born in?
Tennessee, the same I live in now. The dirty south: Born dirty, stay dirty. :P

{five} do you have a change jar? if so, what do you use it for when it gets full?
um normally I just grab a handful and throw it in my wallet and use it. I'm not very interesting today. Sorry. Lol

{six} what’s the first website you look at when you get on the computer?
my blog, duh.

{seven} what is your favorite breakfast?
Biscuit and gravy. Even though it makes me sleepy. Hehe

{eight} what’s the most memorable trip you’ve ever taken?
spring break 2009. Woah shit.

{nine} do you prefer your coffee black or with cream/milk/sugar?
In my case its more like I drink a little bit of coffee with my cream and sugar. But considering I'm on a diet, I'm not drinking it at all. Gasp!

{ten} have you ever done a professional photo shoot?
Uhh I guess you could call it that. My high school sweethearts mom was a pro-photographer and she took several for me. Actually a whole afternoons worth, but it is what it is.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bringing sexy back.

So as I posted previously, vie been trying to lose weight. I've done pretty good being that I'm 15lbs down. However, a Memorial Day weekend canoe trip is coming up and even though I'm excited as all get out to have a vacation, I'm not so thrilled about wearing a bikini. Though Honey reassures me that I look "great", I'm still not comfortable in my skin yet. I still want to lose about 30lbs or more.

I don't want to look like this while canoeing. Not fucking cute at all. Though I'm no where close to being her size, I feel like I still have rolls where they're not suppose to be. Granted, I am fully aware that for my 5'3" frame God has gifted me with thick thighs and a large ass. Honey loves it, much like most men, so I'm not so worried about that. But I am worried about the love handles that still linger right about that ass and the beer belly that's chilling as well.

I could, however, totally go for a bod like this. ha, in my dreams. So unrealistic. Maybe with some lipo though... Whatever I have a week and a half before the trip, theres no way its gonna happen. So here I am still putting off buying a swimsuit because none of my others fit, yet I still don't want to face my fluff in the dressing room mirror.

In all honesty, unless Honey's on top of me and humping, I don't even like being naked in front of him nor even in panties and bra. How the fuck am I suppose to get in front of a bunch of the guys he works with in a bikini and be confident and hot? I have lingerie yet rarely use it because let's be super honest here, fat girls in skimpy lace and silk isn't as sexy as what he sees in his Playboy's and Maxim's. But that's a story of it's own. Maybe I'll be like Justin Timberlake, but with a vag of course, and bring sexy back. In a larger form, that is.

both images found via google

FMBT v.2 & ABCs

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I'm participating again in FMBT. If you're interested in finding some new good reads, as far as blogs go, I suggest you participate. Last week I came across several new blogs that definitely caught my interest and apparently mine peaked other because I gained 8 new followers. So in case you want to just whore your blog out, participating would be in your best interest...just saying!

Furthermore I've decided to do the ABCs of me in this post as well for those who do stop by. Enjoy :)

A. Age: 22

B. Bed size: Full. I plan on upgrading once I have my own place, of course.

C. Chore you dislike: Emptying the dishwasher.

D. Dogs: 2- Bootie and Finley. And for those of you who weren't around for the intro to my pups lemme explain how Bootie got his name. So we bought him and couldn't think of a name. We tried everything, nothing stuck. Well brilliantly enough, Destiny's Child came out with "Bootylicious" so we just kept telling him he was Bootylicious and it end up sticking, later being shortened to Bootie. Trust me, it fits him.

E. Essential start to your day: I go pee every morning routinely, even if I don't need to. But maybe that was tmi. I also start my day with taking OEP and accompanied with a cigarette and slim fast.

F. Favorite color: Green

G. Gold or silver: depends on what I'm wearing of course.

H. Height: 5 foot, 3 inches Shawtttyyyy!

I. Instruments you play(ed): I attempted the guitar once, now vie realized that I'm becoming a pro burper. Yes, I'm very ladylike.

J. Job title: Manager. Some say I'm a pretty big deal.

K. Kids: my boyfriend. Oh wait I mean...

L. Live: in the dirty south. Also referred to as Tennessee.

M. Mom’s name: Queen Bee. Mitzi. Whatever you prefer.

N. Nicknames: Haley Bug. Or in Honey's case honey suckle, baby, sweet get the drift.

O. Overnight hospital stays: As company. Never myself.

P. Pet peeves: Wet grass. Greasy hair. Bad drivers. What up road rage.

Q. Quote from a movie: Do I really have to get on imbd right now?

R. Righty or lefty: righty, yo.

S. Siblings: One. A sister. She goes by ashley.

T. Time you wake up: My alarm clock goes off at 5:30 but I prolly roll outta bed at like 6:30, 6:05 on a good day. :)

U. Underwear: Depends on the mood I'm in. I hate VS cheekies though, they always end up wanting to be a thong due to my large ass.

V. Vegetables you dont’ like: unfortunately the better question would be which one DO I like. Hmph, fatty.

W. What makes you run late: queen of procrastination right hurrr.

X. X-rays you’ve had: When I got in a car wreck and when I went to the chiro.

Y. Yummy food you make: Meatloaf, chili, anything that includes hamburger meat I've got it.

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Giraffe. I could watch them forever however the monkeys amuse me too.

Hope you enjoyed, now hop over to see Boobies!

Monday, May 16, 2011


Ever since blogger had it's crashing moment I feel like I'm turned off by blogging. There were so many posts I had planned to do and now I don't even know which one to begin with. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed. But nonetheless here's a list of upcoming posts I'm planning to do:

Award ceremony, if you will, I'll be giving away an award that was recently given to me.
My comic book boyfriend.
Blogger Superlatives
Introduction to SGS: Support Group Sunday, stick around it's not for alcoholics.
ABCs of me
And im sure there's more that I'm not thinking of right now.

Maybe one day I'll have enough time to type them out and make them scheduled. Or better, maybe tomorrow I'll feel like posting something worthy reading.

This blogger crash has really thrown me off track. Anyone feel me?

Ps. I'm beginning to think captcha or whatever its called when you type a weird word in in order to post a comment, is trying to tell me something. My last two were the words anerdd (a nerd?!) and schwaga (swagger?). So I'm guessing I'm a nerd with swagger. Word.

Friday, May 13, 2011

A second chance to live

So once again I'm taking part in Mama Kat's weekly writing prompts. I didn't really expect to take part two weeks in a row because normally I only ever so often see a prompt that piques my interest. However, I feel like this is a great opportunity to tell you about an event that took place in my life, shook things up a bit, and changed my view on life as a whole. The writing prompt?
Tell about your first car

So after arguing with myself, more of debating, on how I wanted to write this post, I decided that I would go back to the old MySpace account and copy and paste the blog that I had wrote about it. I'm sure it doesn't quite make sense right now about why this would be life altering but it will all make sense in the end.

This is the night i got my first car, it was a lime green Volkswagen bug that my grandmother gave me. Obviously I was thrilled as all get out. I though a random planned trip to Florida was just for fun, whe. We arrived my grandmother brought me into the garage and there it awaited with a huge red bow on it. I couldn't have been happier.

A year later...

from the MySpace blog... (italics are what I have edited in)
If you heard about my wreck, or you haven't heres the full story of what happend tonight. 9/11/05.

I was on my way to Jeremy's my high school sweet heart house when I passed an SUV. Our cars were a little close so I decided I would kinda turn my wheel a little to get away from it. well I overcorrected & lost control of my car, I started to panic I didn't know what to do. I tried turning the steering wheel, but all hope was lost... I was going to wreck.

The next thing I know my car lands on my side (the driver side) Then bounced to the roof (meaning the car was upside down) then rolling to the passengers side, then rolling back to being upside down. The car finally stopped, I freaked. I knew I had to get out of it before it blew up. I didn't care about my cell phone or anything. I could have cared less. So I finally got my door opened and I crawled out of the car. I couldn't stand up so I crawled to the pavement. Luckily the SUV that I was passing saw it happen. [somehow?] So about 3-10 cars stopped. Getting out to help. By the time i figured out what was going on everyone was on the phone calling an ambulance & all that.

I looked at the lady in the green shirt, I was scared to death. All i wanted was a hug. I told her. So we hugged. Thank goodness someone was there to help. So eventually I sat down on the pavement. Called my parents, got yelled at, hung up on them, and sat in shock. I couldn't speak. I just wanted to be left alone. I looked back at my car & all you could see was this cute lil green bug flipped over with smoke exiting all four windows & the back.

The paramedics & everyone finally got there. My dad got there and yelled at me. Then Bret my very first boyfriend, I just so happened to crash right in front of his house...ironic right? & his dad came out. Thankfully they left cause I didn't want to be seen, I didn't want a crowd. So they put me in a neck brace because my neck was hurting. Then they put me on a bored & strapped me in. It hurt because my legs & arms were killing me.

So they finally put me into the ambulance because I was in shock. As they shut the doors, I finally started to cry. Patrick, the paramedic, asked me what was wrong. I told him that all I wanted was for my daddy to tell me he loved me and that he was glad I was okay. He grabbed my hand and assured me that he cared. I started crying harder. The finally hooked me up to everything and talked to me about my information. The information that I had already had to say 3 times before ever even getting in the ambulance.

I finally arrived at the hospital. They placed in a room, hooking me up to all this machinery. My back, spleen, & left hip were hurting. The back pain was hidious though. So they decided to do x-rays.

The doctor, cop, & nurse, & some weird lady came in and asked me all the same questions. "What's your name, address, ssc, age, were u wearing ur seat belt, etc." I finally got frusterated & made my parents answer all the questions.

I started crying all I could murmur was "I'm sorry." "I Love you" "Happy Anniversary" it just happens that it was my parents anniversary & "Please don't be mad" That's it. Besides that I was in shock, staring at the wall, not wanting anyone to touch me and just leave me alone to die in that tan colored room with a hidious trim border.

Then a nurse came in saying that there was someone here to see me. After wanting to talk to jeremy so long, here he came walking through my hospital door, crying as well. He's all I wanted to see. That is what calmed me down, taht is what dried my tears, that is what quit my legs from shaking in fear, and that is what made me know that from here on out, i want to be with him forever. obviously in high school. I didn't know what love was at the time, but as all teenagers I thought I knew everything.

After meeting his parents, I was actually on my way to his house to meet his parents for the first time. holding his hand, and closing my eyes praying... forty minutes later i was rolled away to get x-rays and stuff. Turns out everything was okay. After be poked and jerked and transferred and replaced everywhere... turns out, i'm fine. Just bumps and bruises, scratches & skins.

Now they've put me on two medications to keep my muscles relaxed and ot keep me calm. So i suppose i'll get off here. Cos they're kicking in. So theres the story on what happend tonight.
I'm the only loser who would actually get online and post their tragedy.

But i'm thankful that God was at the scene holding my hand as well at the hospital and on the car ride home. Never forget to tell your parents you love them. No matter how mad you are at them, once they're gone... you'll realize what all they truly do for you.

Never forget to tell you friends you love them & what they mean to you. You never know when you're last pillow fight will be. When you're last telephone call will end; When your last giggle & laughter will be. Never take them for granted.

...end post

Jeremy had went looking for me because I wasn't answering my phone and it scared him. He came across my car and seeing that it was totaled he thought I was as well. He drove back to his house to tell his parents he was going to the ER to see me and since he was such a wreck they wouldn't let him drive so they drove him. At the time I thought that I could take some pain pills and be brand new later. I didn't know that I would be twenty two and have issues with my knees and have horrible back pains.

This changed my life because I realized that in a blink of an eye, everything can change. Instantly. No turning back. Through this experience I learned to love more and love more often. Though I wish I still had my bug, as well as be able to do a sit-up without intense discomfort in my lower back, I would t trade this experience for anything. I had a key chain on my keys that said "lease drive safely" dangling from it was three little charms: a little bug, a guardian angel, and a car key. After the wreck was all said and done and keys were returned the only charm left was the guardian angel. I should have died in that wreck. Anyone who saw the car would have thought there was no possible way that I could have even thought of walking away from it let alone actually doing so. Still to this day I thank God for my second chance. A second chance to breath, love, live, and experience life all together.

And that was my first car.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

We Want To Know Wednesday!!

I haven't had anything to really write about, maybe it's considered writers block. Who knows, either way I'm taking part in another bandwagon, I guess you can call this bandwagon week...learn to love it because tomorrow will be another. Make sure you check tomorrows post though, it's kind of an event in my life that I hold close to my heart. A true learning experience and wake up call, if you will. But on to the point in hand...

1.What game show have you always thought you could be on and totally WIN!
2.Do you have a tattoo(s)? What are they and what made you chose them? If not, would you get one, yes/no/why?
3.What is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own?
4.What is your driving pet peeve(s)?
5.What was your favorite sitcom growing up that you wish was still on?
1. what game show have you always thought you could be on and totally win?
who wants to be a millionaire of course! ...yeah...right...
Probably press your luck. Anyone remember it? Maybe I'm old school.

2. Do you have a tattoo? What are they and what made you choose them?

That's not a very accurate picture, but I started out with 2 stars on my hip bones. Just the outlines at first but later I got them filled in to be nautical stars. The nautical part is pink and black and they have lime green lines through it. I'm actually in desperate need of a touch up but yeah.

I picked it because I had always wanted it. No real reason behind it actually and yes, I plan on getting more eventually.

3. What is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own?
Well I would have to say the ring my grandmother gave me when I was a teenie bopper. Yes, I just used that phrase lol. Its a gold band with rubies and diamonds on it. I've always kept up with it and now that it doesn't fit,it's on my key ring.

4. What is your driving pet peeve?
Ha! Funny question to ask someone with horrible road rage. My worst peeve though is when someone pulls out in front of me and then chooses to go 5-10 miles under the speed limit. Oh and I hate getting behind someone with Kentucky tag. Sorry I'm being a "hater" but they seriously cannot drive.

5.What was your favorite sitcom growing up that you wish was still on?
That's a really tough question to ask someone didn't really watch TV. However if I had a gun put to my head and HAD to answer, I would have to pick two.

Will & Grace and The Nanny

what? I was only born in 1988!

Now, everyone go over and link up. You can do this by simply clicking on the WWTK image.

Thats all for today. I hope everyone has a fucktastic day! I plan on partaking in the bedroom boom this evening myself ;)

Images found via google.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


BWS tips button

I love boobies. Not just any set of boobies. Not just any pair of boobies. But this boobie:
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and considering I hardly ever take part of "hops" this should say something. So hop along now and go check out Boobie.

Side notes:
Welcome to my new followers. Obviously you're okay with cussing, ranting, and occasional sex talk. Which makes me love you already. Make sure to leave me a comment, I'll be sure to drop by your place.

As far as work goes, I have a ton of shit to do today. So with that being said holllllaa!!!!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday highlight

Image via google.

So I admit, I've recently become obsessed with Katy Perry's relatively new song E.T. featuring Kanye West (not much of a Kanye fan but that's another story). So while leaving Wal-Mart I decided I would roll my windows down and blare some E.T. while exiting the parking lot. Lo and behold there was a homeless man on the corner. The corner with a stop sign that, me being a law abiding citizen, I had to stop at. Windows still down, music still blaring, I look over and what do I see? The homeless man was dancing, hands in air, singing along to the song. I would have given anything to have got a picture, a video, something. Just to record this moment that, with no doubt, was the highlight of my day.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Love for my mother.

My mother is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. I love her with all my heart. Just like all mothers and daughters, as well as best friends, do we have our cat fights. We have our times when I don't think things will ever be the same. At the end of the day she is still my rock. She is still my comfort. She is still my mother. And to her I will forever be grateful. I'm 22 and I still crawl in her lap, and she let's me. I'm 22 and I still want her when I'm sick. I'm 22 and she still calls me her baby. I will forever be just that. She gave me life, and a wonderful one at that.

So I share with you photos of us. Get ready to get your giggle on.

Awesome 80's hair, right?!

Obviously denim skirts were the shit back then.

Me in my awesome first pair of heels that she gave me. Yes I have always been a diva.

I love you Moma, forever and always! Happy mothers day.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Fawk You Friday with Boobies!

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Fawk You Friday

a day late, a post behind

Anyone enjoying how I'm late on my blogs bandwagons this week? I thought so. This week has been hell on wheels so I figured regardless of what day it is, I would take part in Boobies' "Fawk You Friday" ranting posts. Me rant? Yeah get use to it. if you've never checked out Boobies, Babies, and a Blog... I suggest you do so. You can find her button in my blogroll. Get to it. You'll love her smart ass, family lovin', sex toy reviewing, and give away givin' blog posts. Shes a joy to read. Just saying.

fawk you weather. You have screwed up my allergies. Caused mosquito havens all around me. And most of all you have fawked up my schedule.

fawk you coworker who decided to me a no call no show. You've royally fawked my work week up.

fawk you people who have chosen to complain so much this week that not only have you pissed me off but you have my sister, and my boss...whom is my father and I live with so the anger isn't only at work but it follows me home.

fawk you week. You have given me so much hell. So many tears. And so many anxiety attacks the past 7 days it's not even funny.

fawk you concrete truck. You have pulled out in front of me two days this week an decided to go 35 in a 55 thus making me late for work TWICE. you bitch.

There's more things I could fawk off right now but for the sake of my sanity I'm not going to get into it right now.

I hope you have a fawking fabulous weekend.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, May 6, 2011

Real housewife? Think not.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Mama Kat is at it again, as always. Though I'm a day late and a blog post behind, I'm still going to feature one of her writing prompts this week.

ten reasons you're not a real housewife of any county

Where do I start?! Oh yeah let's state the obvious.
1. I'm not a wife, at the moment. No ring, no vows, nada. Even though this didn't stop Gretchen from being on the show nor Jeana... Oh and Tamera got a divorce too. Maybe I could still make the cut if I was divorced or a gold digger engaged to a 80 year old man that's on his death bed. I'll think about it.

2. I walk around naked too much to ever be on television. Unless the Playboy channel or HBO wants to do a series called "The Real Naked Housewives of the Southern Counties" I probably won't be making the cut anytime soon. (if any channel makes a new series called that in the near future, someone let me know so I can sue for the robbery of my idea. Just saying)

3. I don't own a mansion. Nor a penthouse. Nor a yacht or shiny private jet with leather upholstery, an attentive butler and a mini fridge complete with bourbon, grey goose, patron, and fruity cocktails. Wait is it too late to sign up for these shananigans? Cause I could totally get use to that lifestyle. Just saying.

4. My boobies are silicon free. My face has never had a knife near it, except for that one time when my clumsy feet got in my way and I busted my chin open...but I don't think that counts.

5. I don't have snotty nose brats running around using the credit cards that I don't own and brushing it off my shoulder like, oh but they deserve it. Get a life and freaking discipline your rug rats that are 20 years old and never had a job or a spanking. Obviously this peeves me.

6. I work a 40+ hour week. Therefore I don't have time for luxury vacations, my vacation amounts to me going on a canoe trip, not going to a foreign island where I can't even pronounce the restaurant I'm eating at let alone understand what the hell I'm ordering off the menu. Dude gimme a cheeseburger and fries. Sushi will work too.

7. I don't wear heels 7 days a week. Normally 7 days a week I'm wearing workout pants and jeans, not dresses and mink coats. Obviously, this would not make the cut.

8. I still live with my parents. Self explanatory? I think so.

9. I don't want a camera in my face. My business exposed. And then world exploiting my name. I'm pretty sure my tabloid free lifestyle is much more beneficial than having every fart caught on camera, ever shit I take recorded, and every cuss word and f bomb bleeped out.

10. And last but not least, I'm too fucking awesome for television. If I were on tv everyone would quit their accomplishments and become couch potaters glued to my not so fascinating life. My personality? Too cool for tv. my relationships? Too good to be split up and broken by reality nonsense.

Could you be a real housewife? Think before you answer ;)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Home sweet home.

via google images

So another day passes and I don't get to see Honey. I don't know if I've explained it before, but either way I'll humor those of you who read it even if I have. Honey and I see each other maybe 3-4 times out of the week. Wednesdays we always see each other because we normally both get off at three and he doesn't go to the gym that day. Then we normally see each other Friday-Sunday. Every other day he goes to the gym and it's late before he gets home so there's no point in me going to his house for just a few hours of entertainment. It would make much more sense if I stayed the night at his house, correct? Yeah I thought so too. However, being raised in a Christian home and being 22 and still living with my parents I'm forbidden to stay the night with a male unless we're lawfully wedded or I don't live under their roof. Yes, you read that correctly, 22 and still under the parents thumb. "but wait diva, I thought you burnt his breakfast that one morning after you spent the night with him...." um if you were 22 and still restricted you would be doing a little sneaking around too.

Further more I went to my sisters today and I was yelling her about how I didn't get to see him on the one day that we ALWAYS see each other and her and my BIL told me we should just move in together. Yeah right. He's afraid of commitment and that won't happen till he decides he likes it and wants to "putta ring on it" -in the words of beyonce. So on my way home I decided I would humor Honey and tell him about mine and my sisters and BIL conversation.

-enter proof of commitment issues-
Diva: Ashley and Justin were trying to tell me that we just need to move in together. I told em that wasn't gonna happen till prolly we're engaged.
Honey: haha it might not happen then.
Diva: good lord.
-no response-
Diva: do you really not wanna live with me that bad?!
Honey:haha no I'm just not ready for all that.
Diva: well its not like it's going to happen tomorrow!
Honey:haha I know i just don't like change.
Diva: great I'm going to be 40, not married, and still living at my mommas house sweet life.
Honey: haha oh that wont happen.
Diva: so just 5 years lol?
Honey: yeah something like that
Diva: oh god.
Honey:its just a ring anyways.
Diva: I'm not talking about a ring! Lol I'm talking about living together, sheesh!
Honey: well buy me a house and I'll live with you.
Diva: somebody pass me a gun. I need to shoot myself.
Honey: okay I'll bring you one
Diva: sigh. You want me dead. Sigh. You never want to live with me. Sigh. I must really suck.
Honey: haha whatever
Diva: oh so you do want to live with me *blink blink*
Honey: maybe one day if things keep going good.
Diva: okay. Deal. Lol I'll take what I can get.
Honey: yeah I figured you'd take that.
Diva: you're just trying to get me to hush.
Honey : I would never do that.
Diva: I can sense the smart ass-ness miles away

-end conversation.

Proof if you ever needed any. Personally, like I'm sure all women do when they find the person they're head over heels about, I fantasize about having a place of our own. I don't want to rush into anything, however. I know right now were not ready to live together realistically. But when is the right time? When is it my time to have my very own home sweet home?

Humor me, when did you and your lover move in together? I'm extremely curious to know.