Wednesday, December 28, 2011

butt loads

...of laundry and what nots...

I didn't go anywhere don't worry. because I know you were losing sleep over it.

I've been a busy bee, no pun intended, as most are during the holidays. Well sure holidays are over (minus new years) but now that all the glitter and sparkles are being put away I'm left with a massive load of laundry, dust, and plenty of ruckus- needless to say I had a girl quit/get fired yesterday so now I'm dealing with that jazz. So my next post will be filled with amazingness including my fore mentioned giveaway oh yesss! I didn't forget about that!

However I will inform you that I took off early from work today in order to do laundry and clean, yet the day was too short to tackle everything I wanted to. So as soon as I get back on top of things, later this week maybe tomorrow if I can get my shit straight, I will post something magical. By magical I mean it will be filled with catch up, Christmas goodies, and my giveaway. Maybe that's combining too much into one post? Hehe we will see.

How was your holidays?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, December 24, 2011

my santa is good

First and foremost, my Honey is just too good to me! Last night we decided to exchange Christmas presents being that today we have a full schedule and tomorrow we do as well. So it just sort of made sense to do it last night since I wanted it to be an intimate moment between him and I. What? It's our FIRST Christmas celebrated together!!

My present to him: a new electric razor-he dropped and broke his at the Bike Rally this past summer so I hooked him up with a new one so he could trash the ghetto-rigged one. Also PJ pants-he's just as peculiar as I am, all the way down to his PJs. So when stumbling upon the only type of pj pants he will wear I snagged em! (in hopes that he will retire The Simpsons pjs he's been rocking since we got together). Last but not least I bought him a deep tissue massage at one of our local spas. It's all hes been talking about lately (he's a weight lifter) so I totally pulled that one out of the bag and surprised him. ;)

His present to me: um, lets just say it TOTALLY puts mine to shame. If you have followed me for any time at all then you know all about the dinosaur of a computer I own. Ya know, the one that won't even charge unless you have the cord laying just right? Needless to say it didn't even hold enough GHZ for me to be able to play my beloved game that I had waited months for it to come out only to be devastated. Well Honey, my sweet sweet Honey, decided to hook me up with a new laptop. He's the best :)

Well I have a jammed pack day so I have to go now. Hope everyone has awesome holidays!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

what I'm loving Wednesday

It has been quite some time since I last linked up with a bandwagon so I feel a little past due. With not much else on my mind other than that night I figure why not! So here I am linking up with Jamie for What I'm Loving Wednesday!

I'm loving that there's only four days left till Christmas! That means only three days left till Honey and I switch presents! I love presents :) Eh hem, speaking of.. I'm loving that I already have all my shopping AND wrapping completed!! Score, boss!

At work we had a ballin' ass lunch along with a ballin' ass total for the entire day! Being that it's winter business comes to a halt so to see a big turn out is pretty darn exciting. I know, I may be too invested into work...

This morning I almost decided to forego weighing in. I've been super stressed and I skipped a day at the gym last week so I knew I had to have gained a pound(s) rather than losing. I grew some balls (don't worry they fell off shortly after) and weighed in. I've reached 11lbs lost!! Oh I'm loving it for sure!

Might I just add that I am loving my family and friends. Seriously, they are the effing best. I would be crazy if I thought otherwise.

So what are you loving?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

brighter spirits

Today has been relatively better than the last couple, I'm now in a rental car so it helps take away some of the constant reminders. Unfortunately I saw his picture, one I thought I would feel better once I could put a face to it but now I wish I never had. His family and friends are still in my prayers as well as the people that witnessed it due to the trauma. However I don't want to let this ruin my Christmas spirit, everything happens for a reason. I've been keeping myself busy to occupy my mind so with that being sai I thought I would try to do a fun little Christmas wish list.

Nars pressed blush. Color: Orgasm. It's a beautiful peach color with small gold specks to give a subtle glow. Ah! Love!

2012 Dodge Journey. This is what I'm currently driving as my rental. Obviously it has several upgrades such as Sirius radio along with a touch screen, but overall it's a great car with tons of storage and convenience especially starting brand new at $18,991. Just saying.

MacBook Pro. I mean um hello! It's gorgeous and amazing. At this point I would love to have a new computer regardless if it's a pricey Mac. My current laptop doesn't even have the ghz that is required to play a game I purchased and anxiously awaited for for months! Might I add the cd insert is missing its faceplate that randomly decided to fall off, the charging cord has to sit just right in order to keep the computer even on thus meanin it takes several minutes/hours just to attempt a single use out of it. Along with its slowness I could name off a million other things I dislike about my dinosaur of a laptop. ---no really, it's also bulky.

Keurig. Yessss please! A single cup of coffee is made my the time I get done taking my morning pee...what more can you ask for? No measuring coffee grinds, no clean a coffee stained pot, and very little maintenance...need I say more?

not pictured:
Ugg boots
Ottorbox-iPhone 4
Pearl earrings
MAC Eyeshadows-any color I love them ALL!
Victoria Secrets new "yoga" line.
A teacup yorkie or Australian sheppard mini.
Casserole dish with carrying case. For my future house of course.
The missing books from my Ellen Hopkins series
The Twilight saga DVDs. Yes I am absen from owning any but seen them all.
A quiet night for Honey and I (ya know jacuzzi suite and what not ;) )
A tree that grows money. If I come across one I'll inform you where to purchase it at ;)
A Bluetooth keyboard case for my iPad
A blender
A house. Oh what? Too much to ask for? sigh.

I could go on with some ridiculous wants but I'll stop there. This Christmas is not about presents, nor has it ever been before but emphasis on this Christmas due to circumstances of events, but more of spending time with my family and showing love. Honey's family has been extremely supportive the past couple of days and if I didn't feel it before I definitely feel apart of the family now. I couldn't ask for better future in laws. They are so amazing and loving and every sense of the words. I couldn't possibly asked to be surrounded by better people- my family, his, and friends.

If I'm not back before Christmas which I surely hope that I am, I hope everyone has the best Christmas possible. Love you guys!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, December 18, 2011

a deathly experience

I don't know how to start this blog post off and I doubt there could be any right way to do so. I will tell you this, I do not know how available I'm going to be over the next week or so- mentally or physically. Last night was possibly one of the worst experiences that someone could go through.

We went downtown to celebrate my birthday. Needless to say the place we chose was a sorry excuse for a club so we basically sat there and stared at each other all night. Not quite eventful to say the least. We finally decided to leave around 1:45 or so to head home, I'm not quite sure of the exact time because everything seems so fuzzy looking back now. Honey was driving me and two of my friends home when all of a sudden the car in front of us swerved and Miller was screaming "stop the car there's a man!!". It was too late. We didn't see the man at first because the other car had blocked him. We hit the man while slamming on our breaks and trying to move over to the side, you can't avoid hitting someone when they run into your car instead of away from it. As his body hit the windshield panic set in. we just killed someone. Honey got out, I called 911, by the time I got them on the phone I was panicked and couldn't speak Honey came back over and took care of the phone call. The ambulance arrived and he still had a pulse and breathing. Long story short three hours, hyperventilation, panic attack, and a multitude of tears and questions answered we got to go home with the knowledge that the man passed away in the hospital.

This morning I woke up with an hour and a half of sleep and my heart is still weak. My prayers have been nonstop and my thoughts are endless. The news announced at 5 o'clock that the man had been drinking. I understand there is nothing that we could have done, we werent doing anything illegal and there was no foul play but my heart still hurts for his family.

My giveaway is going to have to hold off. Hopefully I will be back to myself soon. For now I'm spaced out as well as tired from the lack of sleep. Please be praying for this mans family and if you don't pray, then do whatever it is that you do.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, December 16, 2011

Birthday babble and giveaway

Haha, via google images...too good not to share.

Any who! Being that it's my birthday I feel the need to make a fun post. Also in celebration of my birthday, that unfortunately is often overlooked due to being so close to Christmas, I'm going to be hosting a giveaway so stay tuned for details on that tidbit coming up. hopefully it's better than my last giveaway, the one where I had an astonishing 1 person enter. Yes, just one.

The Remembrance
-Remember when you use to call your local radio station to request a song? You know, before you could get on YouTube or other one touch resources to hear it?
-Remember when you use to plan out your outfits a day ahead so you could look cute going through your high school doors?
-Remember when staying up late was 3am, unlike now late for me is 11pm.
-Remember when you couldn't wait for Friday so you could go to "the spot". The spot being where all you and your friends met up and hung out, mine in HVille was the movie theatre.
-Remember when your grandmother buying you a bad sweater was the epitome of devastation?
-Remember when a bad hair day could make your whole day bad?

The Knowledge
-In my 23 years of existence I have learned... that life is a bitch unless you make it your bitch.
-In my 23 years of existence I have learned... that patience truly is a virtue.
-In my 23 years of existence I have learned...that 99.9% of the time, my mom actually was right.
-In my 23 years of existence I have learned...friends may come and go but family is forever
-In my 23 years of existence I have not reflect on the past too often. Live in the present because thats the only way to work towards a future.
-In my 23 years of existence I have learned...that I will never lose weigh by dieting, the only way to lose weight is by a lifestyle change.
-In my 23 years of existence I have not be ashamed, embarrassed, or envious of other when it comes to who I am. There will always be someone with worse makeup, hair, style, personality, weight, social skills, and bad jokes among other things than me.

The Accomplished
- In 23 years I have accomplished... Meeting the reality of my depression.
- In 23 years I have accomplished... Attending college and gaining the experience
- In 23 years I have accomplished... Falling in love
- In 23 years I have accomplished...creating a blog and meeting several people who have made an impact on my life
- In 23 years I have accomplished...buying my own vehicle
- In 23 years I have accomplished...starting a career that I thoroughly enjoy, regardless of struggles I encounter on my journey to the top.

The Future
-In the past 23 years I have not yet but plan to...get married
-In the past 23 years I have not yet but plan a house
-In the past 23 years I have not yet but plan to...own my own dog
-In the past 23 years I have not yet but plan to...start a family, even if it consists of me, the hubs, and our four legged fur baby.

Today I turned 23. Twenty-three years ago if it had not been for the doctor standing there when the nurse said "push" I would've hit the ground. (yeah, I was pretty excited about being introduced to the world...might as well make my grand intro with a bang!) I would like to thank my parents for fornicating 23 years and nine months ago. Unfortunately while I was in the oven I did some damage to my moms boobs, which later in life I apologized for. At least it was repairable, a thanks goes out to the doc who cleared my mom from "rocks in socks" and made her a milf.

Let my existence be proof that good things do come from having hot sex. HA!

Stay tuned for my giveaway, you'll wanna punch yourself in the forehead if ya miss it. ;)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

trash the peas

I enjoy doing Mama Kat's weekly prompts but I don't do them on a weekly basis. I tend to have other things to post about or there's topics not really relating to myself/life ie. motherhood, kids, get the gist. This week I'm going with...drum rollll please....

"your less favorite meal growing up"
Now I'm going to start this off by saying The Queen Bee is a beyond fabulous cook and baker. Being the spoiled blessed child that I was Queen always tried to incorporate something everyone at the dinner table was a fan of. So though I cannot choose a particular meal per se, I did decide to choose the new years day tradition that I fucking DESPISE!

Queen is a bit superstitious so every new years day you better believe she is shoveling a spoonful of black eyed peas on this pretty little mouth of mine! Yuckkkk!! It's suppose to guarantee you a good year but considering I've previously had some less than amazing years under my belt I don't believe in it AT ALL. And if that could get me out of the peas I would be more than grateful but it never works.

Any new years day traditions that you hate yet still take part in?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

moment of truth

So you're probably thinking wow two posts in a day? Yeah I know. I'm not trying to make up for the past days missed, I just feel the need to write and I don't have a paper journal on me at the moment, so deal.

I'm having one of those days. Those days where you're completely down and out and want to give up on everything you've been working towards. As fore mentioned I've been trying to lose weight. I understand every weigh in isn't going to be magical but to have gained a half pound in the last week on top of the other thing that has me in the pits kind of makes me want to say fuck it all together.

Moment of truth? Yeah I'm totally tempted to go get some greasy pizza and say fuck the gym. I'm not in the mood to be surrounded by girls who already know what the hell is going on in Zumba for me to continuously trip over my feet in the back row. Yeah for the most part, since I've been more than a handful of times, I know what's going on. I just need to practice my footwork. However I'm not in the mood.

I'm not going to post about what has me down because I'm not really in the mood to admit it even to myself. Last night I cried myself to sleep, this morning I was angry about it, and now I'm just ready to crawl in bed and cry because I simply feel like I have failed.

To others it may have not meant much but to me it was a huge kick in the gut. With that being said I'm going to go make a healthy choice of dinner yet skip the gym.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The challenge

Oh shocking, I haven't posted since Saturday! Don't worry I'm not going anywhere, I've just been busy and what not.

Nevertheless Monday I decided to take on a challenge, actually it was Friday of last week but I started on Monday. Back in February Summer over at Le Musings of Moi (super cute blog btw) introduced a challenge to take on. Though I initially planned to jump on the bandwagon I never did. Now not only am I jumpin on it but I also introduced it to my employees and we are all challenging myself. Talk about people to help hold you accountable! You can read more about this challenge here.

Day one of "21 Days to a Better You" is to give up something for 21 days ready for the shocker? I gave up coffee, and yes now I want it more than ever but I am committing! Day two was focused on kindness, which was yesterday, and it challenges you to do a random act of kindness for your family or friends. Bee has been having a rough time lately so I wrote her a note along with handing her a small present. I didn't stop there though. Last night I joined my mom on going to a Scentsy party which I actually ended up enjoying.

Then there's today. Today we are focusing on counting our blessings. Which is possibly a good thing since I didn't have the best of night last night which has carried over to this morning.

Check out the full list of challenges.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, December 10, 2011

driving to the future

I've never really thought about my future, I mean sure I've thought about a future hubby and maybe some tots, but as far as expenses go for the past 22 years there was no real reason or drive there for me to do so. I had been single and really never thought I would find someone worth settling down with for several years, I would probably be in my thirties, so I've been living as a free bird. Maybe it was irresponsible to not be saving money all along for my future; when it comes down to it, I'm not a huge thinker on the "what-ifs" or "what could be's". In reality all along I've trained myself to not look towards the future but to stay in the present. The future generally scared the hell out of me: what if I'm that single old cat woman? What if I live with my parents till I'm 40? Oh the responsibility of growing up.

Here I am looking towards the future. Aside from all the anxiety that has been taking place, I'm forcing myself to look down the road and mixing the present with the future: what do I need to do now to get where I want to be then? If I could change one thing about my past it would be that I was more responsible with my money. I wish I would have learned about a savings account earlier on, and upon retrieving the knowledge I wish I would have taken it more seriously in reference to my future. Yet that's where I am at now.

via google images

Its that point in mine and Honey's relationship where we need to start thinking, planning, saving towards what we want a little ways down the road. We mutually agree that we prefer to save money for a house rather than renting. After sitting down and budgeting out all of my necessary expenses ie. car payment, car insurance, life insurance, gas etc. I realize now how much easier saving money would be if I would've saved all along and had a jump start. I'm starting at square one and if I want to get any sort of down payment for a house within the next six months-year I'm going to have to start crunching my spending. I'm going to have to opt out on the expensive shampoo I love so much and opt in for the one that may be just as good yet cheaper. In the end, if my car was paid off I would have much more room in my budget but its not due to be paid off till 2015. Which I plan on looking into refinancing maybe getting the payments down due to all the extra money vie already put towards it.

I've had so much anxiety over buying a house lately it's not even funny. When I look into all the costs that we will have to dish out it's almost nauseating. Can Honey and I do it? Of course we can. Its just going to take some time, planning, saving, and dedication.

I've never wanted something so bad in my life and I'm at that point where I will do anything and everything to get where I want to be. So goodbye my expensive makeup, goodbye my random shopping sprees, goodbye my love for iTunes. In the end, I know saving for a down payment will be worth it and now I finally have the drive and dedication to do it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Guest Post: Mogo

If you didn't read Sunday's post, you might want to head back there and then read the posts between now and then. Just to catch up on what this week is about. ;)

So as a specialty, and to switch things up a bit because I'm sure you're bored with me loving me talking about Honey and all the mush n gush, I have asked my friend Mogo to share her love story.

Meet Mogo, a coworker and friend, and her beau Manny.

August 21, 2009 I decided to head to a party where I met up with some friends. I was only 18 and as it would be at any party there was lots of drinking goin on. A female cop showed up as well as backup. One of these cops was Manny. After trying to bribe my way out of an underage drinking charge he told me there was nothing he could do about it because he was not the initial cop to the scene.

Time passed without seeing him or anything of the sort. In May 2010 my friend asked me to go to a carnival with her new boy toy and some guy he was bringing. Turns out, it was the cop Manny. After a long night of fun we exchanged numbers.

On May 17th of that same year he asked me to join him in a peaceful night at home watching movies and hanging out. By this point we were officially dating. After a while of dating, understatement because it was months, I decided to give him till October 20th to decide I he wanted to make me his girl friend. I figured if he didn't know by then, then it wasn't worth me sticking around for. On the 20th we finally made it official, we were a couple.

Surprisingly I learned that I was pregnant December 19th and my baby boy was born on August 24, 2011. Though it came unexpected it brought us closer as a couple. I realized I was in love with him the first time I ever saw him hold our son. Though our meeting was quite unordinary I wouldn't change anything. I have my happy little family under one roof and that's all I need.
Ahh! Their story is precious, yet sort of funny hehe. I would love to hear more of ya'lls stories. I'm planning on having another guest post this week so if you're interested email me!

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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Love: a list

If you didn't read Sunday's post, you might want to head back there and then read the posts between now and then. Just to catch up on what this week is about. ;)

There are so many things that I absolutely love about Honey, don't get me wrong there are many things that are less than awesome about him...such as his dirty dishes. I've decided to share some of the things that I absolutely love about him. (yea I know...mushy gushy)

1. His ability to make me laugh uncontrollably.
2. His child like ways- watching cartoons, getting excited about the latest Marvel related movie.
3. His hard work and dedication. He has a drive like no other.
4. His love he has for family and God.
5. His patience he has with me. I'm a diva therefore not the easiest to handle.
6. His kind heart and willingness to help others (which people often abuse this)
7. His love and support that he gives me. He is so supportive of me in so many ways.
8. His random acts of love. He doesn't always give me surprises or flowers but when he does it comes so unexpected and means more than anything.
9. Though he doesn't always listen, when he does he truly listens and pays attention to every small detail. --surprising me later with acknowledging it.
10. The way he knows when I'm in an uncomfortable situation (like the time I met his high school sweet heart that he had problems gettin over until he was 26) he gives me this look of reassurance that solves everything.

I'll stop at ten because I could go on forever. What are some of the things about your man that drives you wild, you love, or generally attracted you to him in the first place?

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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Fate

If you didn't read Sunday's post, you might want to head back there and then read the posts between now and then. Just to catch up on what this week is about. ;)

Honey & I at our second football game together.

fate: Noun:
The development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power by God.

The turn of events leading up to mine and Honey's meeting is almost funny looking back. Obviously my 'episode' was not.
Event #1
You see Halloween of 2010 I was "talking" to a guy that really seemed to be going no where but still needed a date for my Halloween party. We showed up at one of my best friends house and were informed that unlike most years many people didn't show up. Needless to say it was still a good time.
Event #2:
Same best friend invited me to her moms birthday party that was being held at her BIL's land. I decided not to go because I didn't know many people but her and her family.
Event #3:
This isn't a specific event but numerous times same friend asked me to come to her pool parties. Never failed, I always had something to do or she caught me on a fat day where I didn't feel like exposing my love in a bikini.

So I pull up to Honey's house to go on our first date, the football game. When I pulled in there was a huge trailer with the words "---- Concrete" parked in his culdesac. Honey got in the car and to start small talk I informed him that one of my best friends brother in law owned ---- Concrete. He looked at me funny and replied something along the lines of "that's funny my best friend/roommates brother owns that" EXCUSE ME SAY WHAT!? My best friends sister is married to his best friends brother? Holy cow! That halloween party fore mention, Honey decided to go to DTown instead. Those pool parties never attended, Honey attended. That birthday party I declined, that had not quite arrived yet, Honey was attending (later deciding I would go as his date).

Funny story: best friends mom was totally freaked out. She had always considered him as a son and me as a daughter and here we are of a dating website.

Summer 2010: Honey finally came to terms with a past relationship being over, thus meaning he could finally move on.

By December 2010:
I had finally figured out what I wanted from a relationship and was no longer going to settle like once before.

If he would've been at that Halloween party, chances are we would've never started dating unless God planned our fate otherwise. I was with someone else at the party and at that point I was just looking to have fun. If we would've originally met in person it would've taken a lot more effort for us to be together. Just like I told him, I probably would've never initiated conversation with him because his look is extremely intimidating, um bald head and big muscles...he seems kinda scary.

There are many ways that him and I could've met yet never did. I call it fate.

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Monday, December 5, 2011

The decision

If you have not read yesterday's post, I suggest you go do that now before you get lost and confused as to what the heck is going on.

As previously noted, I made a decision. One that we will get to. Seeing that I was going to be going away for a month due to an overload of stress, my mothers and my relationship completely taking a turn for the worse, almost being kicked out of my house, weeks filled with suicidal thoughts... I knew I needed to get things sorted out. After going through my list of assortments I finally came down to the dating website. It was time for me to delete my account, it was obvious that I had not and would not meet my Prince was apparent that he had been hit by a bus. Right before I deleted my account I stumbled upon the one profile that had continuously popped up on my "top matches". A profile that I gritted my teeth at because I already had the idea that it wasn't Him. I was bored, I decided to check the profile out, oh my God, enter life change.

(you can read more about this here)

I sent him a message, we chatted it up, changed numbers, I thought he was just going to be another failure. Through the text messages he seemed like he would be my type, I even got the weird butterfly feeling in my I couldn't explain.

A friend and I were suppose to go to a Titan's game the following weekend (Sunday) and Saturday she told me she couldn't go and that I should take Boy. Hesitant I text another friend to get reassurance that this is what I should do followed by a text to Boy asking him to go. At first he said he couldn't because he had to go to his little cousins birthday party (major let down) and then before I could text back he sent another text saying "My roommate said I was gay if I didn't go, so I guess I'll be meeting you tomorrow". The hours leading up I was nervous as HELL! More nervous than I had ever been on any other date, including the ones from the website that failed miserably. I picked him up from his house because I didn't want him to know where I lived. He gets in the car and my word! He's bald!! Instant turn on. (don't ask...) We chatted the whole hour drive back and forth from the game. Had our first kiss at the game. One that left me lightheaded and a little uneasy.

After leaving his house and getting in my car it hit my like a ton of bricks. I'm going to marry that man one day. He was going to be mine and I knew it. My plans completely changed. I was on an adventure that I didn't want to end, and to this day I'm still on that adventure. That boy with the mysterious profile that continued to pop up was Honey. I knew I would love him then, I never knew just how much.

A year ago from today I met my soulmate. I met the man that changed my world, changed my views on life, changed my plans, changed the way I love. I never knew I could love someone so much. Though we're not engaged nor married we have often talked about it. It's just about timing just like meeting him was.

This week will be filled with all of the goodness that surrounded us finding each other.

Stay tuned...;)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

a road to crisis vs. change

via google images

Exactly a year ago from today marks the day my whole life changed. A ray of sunshine peeked through my clouds, I came to several realizations, my road took a turn. Now you may be wondering what is up with the picture right above the text, I've never gone into full out detail about a major part of my life...some call it an illness, some call it a disorder, some call it a disease. Call it what you will. I suffer from have depression. I was diagnosed my freshman year with clinical depression and seasonal depression and was borderline major and bipolar. Last year at this time I was in my lowest of low. Hence "seasonal" depression, I was with the majority of being depressed during winter time unlike the minority being summer. I had gone as far as making phone calls to inpatient treatment facilities and making plans as to when I should go and who was taking me. I basically had everything mapped out. I was planning to go for a month or so, clear my head, get a lot of my chest, figure out who I am and where I'm going. Some may refer to it as the "looney-bin" I assure you, its nothing of the sort. Unless you're in the critical unit, you're not going to be seeing any straight jackets. They offer therapists and help you figure things out so on, so forth. Bottom line, I knew I needed help. I held off for a few days after making my plans, actually a few weeks due to work related instances where I knew I couldn't just disappear.

Within those weeks I had made a decision. A decision that would change my life forever.

That decision? Will be revealed Monday December 5th.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas 25 days early

So the juicy post I had originally planned is going to have to wait because I'm not much up for writing it tonight. Instead, I'm going to show you the Christmas gifts that Santa dropped off early for me (actually, I believe God was working in my favor...). I have scored some great buys this week and by "great buys" I'm not just speaking in terms of monetary value I'm also speaking in terms of items that succeeded in awesomeness.

Today I purchased Olay's in-shower body lotion. Lemme tell you, I wish I had a whole pool full of this just to roll around in! It is fabuloussss! After I showered I didn't want to put clothes on I wanted to roll around in silk sheets nakie because my skin was oh-so-soft!

Also today, Honey and I visited GNC where I planned on buying some pre workout however came across this bad boy instead. I'm going to continue using Honey's pwo hehe and start using this as a post workout or for when I'm hungry but about to head to the gym so I can't eat much. Okay so why is this on the list? Um originally it was $30+ dollars, BAM! Sale for only $7.99 say what? Oh no it doesn't stop there. Honey used his gold membership card and it ended up only costing approximately four bucks. Total win! Needless to say I got a "shortie" shaker in pink! (It's to put the protein powder in and fill with water, it comes with a metal ball that helps mix it up. why shortie? Because it's half the size of a normal shaker)

Okay so technically I didn't pay for these, Honey ended up making it an addition to the already $210 dollars spent on me for my birthday. (What? I'm not called the Diva Bee for nothing! ) If you've never heard of the "Eat This Not That!" series, I seriously suggest you look into it. Its not just a "diet" book. Actually if you look in the center of the red book and the top of the yellow, it clearly says "no diet weight loss solutions". It has everything from fast food restaurants to sit down restaurants. At each one it gives you the "healthier" choice. Believe it or not, it even suggests a Jr. Whopper at burger king versus other choices. It suggests grocery alternatives as well such as instead of wheat thins buy triscuits...this cereal over that cereal... mainly suggesting stuff that tastes basically the same but yet saves you the love handles. (If I haven't convinced you enough, it includes what you should look for on dining out menus to alert you whether it's a healthy choice or not)

Last but not least, my gas receipt. Here in TN gas is outrageous. I will admit it has dropped from it's four dollar range to a three dollar range but still, what happened to the days where you could put a dollar in your gas tank, not that I ever got to experience those days...just saying. So at Krogers, a grocery store mainly located in the south has a "Krogers plus card" deal where you can scan your card and get deals. Recently they came out with an iPhone app where you can download coupons directly to your card and when you scan it at the grocery it automatically takes said deal off. Well in addition to this, I feel like I need to explain for those none Kroger shoppers, they have fuel points. So when you scan your card even if you're not getting a deal it puts points on your account to go towards gas. Everyone has been astonished at how much I've saved on gas 10-30¢. Well Thursday night I went and got gas and ended up paying $2.67 a gallon VS 3.27 a gallon. Woopwoop!! Normally it takes about $45 to fill my Honda Element up but not this time! What's up $35 dollas!

My week? Yeah I cant complain. What about yours?

Friday, December 2, 2011

don't read and drive

I was totally going to make an awesome blog post today however time slipped away. After work, the gym, and dinner I started catching up on some blog reads which resulted in me getting somewhat sleepy. I was suppose to be even going out tonight but instead I'm staying in going to bed like an old woman and catching the gym and errands tomorrow. So to keep this short and sweet so I atleast don't feel bad about being absent the past couple of days I'll leave you with this...

No, your eyes are not tricking you. That is a woman reading a freaking magazine while driving. Seriously!? Was the magazine that important?

Be back tomorrow with some juiciness or something like that! Good night lovelies!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

shower poop

If you have an iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, or a smart phone in general than chances are you're going to connect with me here.

Lately everything I text, email, and even try to blog about my iPhone and iPad try to be a smart ass and autocorrect me. Granted, I am very thankful for the times I misspell words because I'm in a hurry and it lends me a hand, but when I type shit...I meant to type shit not shot not shut...SHIT! It also like to make bitch a butch which is also halfway aggravating. Needless to say my issues mainly result from cuss words. But it also tries to make "I've" into vie and ice, had into has, can into van...the list goes on.

My favorite autocorrect that was unfortunately sent in a text message before catching...

attempted to say: "alright well I'm going to pop in the shower and then I'll be there"

autocorrected into: "alright well I'm going to poop in the shower and then I'll be there.

Major fail. Luckily my boyfriend is understanding that my phone tries to talk over me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, November 28, 2011

seriously?! monday

It has been one of those Monday's that makes me think wow...seriously?! I woke up this morning, after pressing the snooze button numerous times (I swear if it weren't for Honey I would never make it to work on time) and I was extremely tired. The drive to work wasn't any better. I finally realized this morning how it is possible for people to fall asleep while driving. I kept having to double blink in hopes to wake up a little more, it didn't work out like planned. This is what going back to work is like after having a four day vacation? Seriously? I thought I would be fully energized and ready to kick some ass, yeah total opposite.

Upon reaching for a much needed an item in order to do my job, I realized that SAB didn't replace what she had used while I was gone. Seriously?! I could strangle that cunt. However, I made do and continued on my merry way.

Later, after waiting on several customers I get a phone call. dun dun dun dun... A woman apparently stopped by the drive thru and ordered "extra" sauce. However, she really only specified that she wanted sauce with her plate, not potato. I'm all about some accuracy, I would not have effed that up. When asking my employee who had waited on the customer about how old she was she told me the customer had to of been late thirties, mid forties. Eh hem, the lady on the phone could not have been no more older than 25 Bee, my employee, also said that the woman had an "adult" voice, not one that sounded like a child. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Someone got her lunch, she didn't get the sauce that she wanted but the other person did because she specified however she wants to get angry and take it out on me...and I quote, "I just wanted to call and say thank you for screwing up my lunch! How can I eat a potato with no sauce?! So thank you for ruining my lunch as well as ruining my day" WTF!? First of all, people eat potatoes without bbq sauce on the DAILY. It is not a requirement, I'm sorry you're abnormal to the point you let a fucking potato ruin your day. SERIOUSLY?!?! Instead of getting mad I laughed at her stupidity. It's one thing if I give you the wrong meat, side item, leave out butter or cheese or even sour cream, I cannot help that you want to add extra calories to your already carb-loaded lunch. I hope it goes straight to her ass. She was probably fat, just saying.

Honey and I are about to leave for the gym. I hope I can get a good work out in. I ate crappy yesterday and I could go for a good burn. Hope everyone is having a happy Monday! It's snowy, soggy, and just plain nasty here. To think, it was in the 70's last week. You know what they say, "If you don't like the weather in Tennessee come back in a day."

Sunday, November 27, 2011

old meets lame

I quickly realized Saturday night as to why I don't "go out" more frequently. Why you ask? Well let me give you a quick recap:

-I'm very easily annoyed when it comes to drunken fools bumping into me. We even moved our hightop table back, and as we moved so did the drunks.

-Running into someone previously dated that ended on sour notes, ie we both quit talking to each other and in my head I ended it with him, in his head I'm sure he thinks he played me off. Typical male, naturally. He eye balled me and turned away so being the alcohol induced, liquid courage bitch that I am, of course I walked straight up to him and said "oh how nice of you to check me out and then quickly look away when I caught your eyes" his response, "oh sorry I didn't notice you" and in his attempts to smooth things over I left him standing there feeling like a jack ass when I promptly responded "oh that's fine, I wish I would have never noticed you" then walked my happy ass to the bar to get two beers for me and my Honey.

-Seeing someone from college that participated in the same fraternity as I, yeah that's awkward. Of course he saw me as the party girl that I once was so once he saw me inside later on, he came up to the table and proceeded with small talk. Not just the small talk you carry on with someone you havent seen in a while, the small talk where you lean in close and talk personally. Luckily, Honey returned from the bathroom in a quick minute so I could promptly introduce him as my boyfriend. Needless to say, that 'small talk' ended quickly after and he went on his merry way.

-We arrived at 9:30-10:00, and I already questioned if I would make it to 11. Yawning took place and the thought of our bed sounded amazing. I'm not the spring chicken I once was, unfortunately, so I was already ready to call it a night. Wow, that's embarrassing, I'm only 22.

-Typically being, a less than favorite topic was brought up in the midst of conversation. The topic leaving me ill and angered ready for an exit on the asap. Being that I had a few drinks in me the ride home was less than pleasant, I was frustrated and ready to pop off.

-Even more so typically being, after a few drinks I was ready for the bedroom boom by the time we got home. Frustrated and all, I wanted to get steamy. Of course, I was denied. Waking up still angry this morning.

It's a rainy Sunday and I look forward to spending it doing absolutely nothing even though there's a Titan's game today. We are foregoing sitting in the freezing rain and I'm spending it snuggled up with a warm cup of coffee and a blanky. Ah!-mazing...

The difference (18+)

...that no work and being in love can make.

This is an 18+ blog post. If you are under the age of 18 or are offended by sexual content, please skip reading this post.


If there is one thing I've learned about being in a long term relationship, its that the sex isn't always going to mind blowing. There are going to be the quickies, you're not quite there yet but he can't wait any longer I personally like to think it's because my pikachu (vagina) is just that amazing. There are going to be the distractions, you're trying to focus but you let everyday life and stress get in the way of your moment. And there are going to be the cliff falls, you're right at the peak where you're about to have a great orgasm and all of a sudden it disappears and you hit rock bottom all over again. It has nothing to do with neither you or your partner, it's just natural.

Normally, and unfortunately, mine and Honey's sex here lately has something holding us back. His roommate is in the other room so we have to be quiet, we've been working all day so we hardly have the strength to put into an orgasm, we are worn out and try to just "get it over with". Always something. Last night however, we held nothing back even though his roommate was just on the other side of the wall...shhh....

We headed to take our shower together like we normally do, it's completely nonsexual majority of the time considering I'm not a huge fan of shower sex. All of a sudden I look down and see his rock hard was possibly smiling at me, and since he had acted not interested in sex all day, I was bothered because I hate being teased. He assured me it was no tease, hehe blushing, and wanted to proceed to do the shower plunge. I denied his request because I didn't want shower sex, and once again hating being teased, I knew I wouldn't be able to reach my "O face moment". Honey ended up surprising me saying that we were going to start in the shower and end in the bed. You can only imagine how excited I was, this means we will be taking our time and building it all up! Woooohoooo!

To sum things up without too much graphic detail, it was an orgasm like I've never experienced! My legs were shaking, heart racing, forehead sweating, wet hair, and tingling pikachu. I have never in all my sexcapades EVER experienced sex like that! There was so much passion and intensity, it left me speechless. Honey even responded, "are you going to be okay?". I guess us both having time off from work and stress has really paid off.

Then again, sex hasn't been the same since I realized I don't just love him. I'm madly in love with him.

Honey's totally going to strut around like a peacock after reading this. It's okay to give him a big head every once in a while...I just know the next time the sex is fair, I'll be sure to let him know he's slacking. Haha!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

vaca lovin

Um, so can I tell you I'm still in love with my new shoes!? Ah they make my feet so happy!

This morning Honey and I slept in, literally. I haven't slept past 7:30am in a long time! I'm almost ashamed to say it, but we slept in till 9am. Shriek! I know, I know. I think I failed to mention Wednesday-ish that I took four days off of work. Thursday-Sunday. Honestly, I don't even know what to do with myself. I have even ignored all calls from work and employees. This time, I want to actually be off work. I find if it's important, they'll call the Big Man, and if it's extremely important in reference to me, the Big Man will give me a call. Can't ignore his call, obviously.

After Honey gave in to me begging allowed me to start my morning with a cup of coffee, nicotine, and a call to my mother (the way I prefer to start any day) we headed to the gym. Unlike yesterday, which I believe was due to all the bad food we consumed, I got a hell of a work out in today.

Later we went to lunch at Subway followed by some errands. Honey bought me a new high impact sports bra woohoo! because my tatas were getting in the way of me trying to lift weights. I don't have a large chest, but since I've lost some weight my current sports bra isn't giving me the support and compression that I need. Now we are I'm doing some laundry and resting up a bit, and by this I mean we are watching college football and being lazy :P. What? I'm on vaca from work, totally allowed!

Honey mentioned us going on a date tonight. After the bedroom boom that took place last night, I'm extremely excited. But we'll save that for a later post of it's own ;)

Friday, November 25, 2011

BF mission

My Black Friday shopping trip went more along the lines of unexpected. I ended up not buying anything when we went. We ended our trip fairly early at 1:30 because my BIL made plans for him and my sister knowing that we were spending a girls day, that's the norm. So being bummed out I ended up calling it a day myself, the gym closed at 6PM instead of the regular 10 so I figured I would shop a little more on my own so that way I could conquer more in my limited time frame instead of having to worry about what other people rather be doing ie going to Pier1. Don't get me wrong, I love that store, but it's not my ideal place to be hitting up when I'm trying to score the mother load. So I decided to fly solo.

Honey's sister asked me to stop by Old Navy to get a jacket for one of her kids that was suppose to be on sale. Here's where they get you: in the commercial they talk about these $70 jackets being $25, they even slide in a few pictures of different jackets; you arrive to the store you don't read the fine print, so of course all the jackets on the rack with the big % off advertisement is said % off right? I mean it was even in the commercial! Luckily being the smart ass that I am, also too lazy to stand in an ass long line only to find out I was paying full price, I read the small print. Well, what do you know "all jackets excluding fleece pullovers and wool lined pea coats" and the jacket I was going for was the pea coat. Bummer.

So after I attempted to conquer my number one goal, I moved on. Next on list: gym shoes. After hitting up 7 different stores, I hit the goldmine. Suggested retail: $70+ bucks. My bargain bust: $54.99. Wuzzup?! Hehe.

I had to awkwardly turn my ankle in order to get a good side legs are of no deformity.

Next I wanted to score some killer jeans. With hopes held high that I could go into Buckle and snag a pair of jeans under $60 I walked my little toosh in there like I owned the place only to promptly turn right back around and walk out. sigh. I didn't let this get me down though. The whole reason I went to buckle is because they have the large seam stitches that I've slowly fallen in love with. So I made it up in my head that there was no way that was the only place that had them. There MUST be a knock off in the mall somewhere! And what ya know?! Shabam! I went to Body Central and there they were hanging gloriously in the window, I even think angels were floating around them. OH! and in glitter and all the words "20% off entire store" almost made me have a shoppingasm. I picked up three pair and headed to the fitting room, where there are clearance racks all over the place. Holy moly! I spotted a pair for only 19.99! So instead of spending $40+ on a pair of jeans, I spent $30+ on TWO pairs.

okay so obviously my photography isn't all that great, but hello do you see those jeans? Um. Love.

Anybody liking the bachelor pad bed spread going on in the back drop of my jeans? Yeah I cant wait to ditch that shit when Honey and I have our own place. Hehe.

Speaking of Honey, don't worry I didn't leave his little booger butt out. I bought two shirts from old navy for him. One as a Christmas present addition and the other was a Titans tee that he so desperately needed due to his lack of game day gear. I ended up giving the other shirt to him already as well. I'm not good about stuff like that hehe. So in the end...

Mission: accomplished


I'm sure the majority have seen the Walmart commercial, the one that's halfway annoying, where she says "load up the sleigh! Ringadingding Ringadingding ring me up!" I tired to get a video but I just don't feel like putting forth so much effort this morning. Hehehe...

Anyways. I'm super exciting about the holidays this year. All of them, even thanksgiving. Honey and I celebrated our very first turkey day together. It was actually the best thanksgiving I've had since being a little kid. We spent it with my grandfather whom I haven't been able to celebrate it for the past 7 years. It was his first Thanksgiving since being out of prison. That story may, or may not, come in a later post. My mom's dad was also there along with her brother, my sister, BIL, and nephew. It was a really great time. Later we celebrated with Honey's family in DTown including his parents, grandpa, sister, BIL, his two nephews and his niece. I had been planning all along to take pictures, which should come to no ones surprise that I didn't take any. I've never been good at taking pictures during gatherings, im too much of a social butterfly. Hehe. So after the day was all said and done with, we retreated to our casa and I showered...where I remembered I had no recording of our first t-day.

Obviously he's worn out, all squinty-eyed hehe.

Today my mom, sister, and I are putting our brave suits on and heading out for a little shopping. We refuse to act like crazy fools, so we are doing it as a leisurely mother-daughters time and hoping to maybe score some deals. This will be the first time we've done a shopping trip altogether since childhood. I'm beyond excited!

How was yalls gobble day?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

truth and dare

Since the very beginning of mine and Honey's relationship, he has done everything but beg me to go to the gym with him. I may go to the gym and do some cardio but you won't find me with him. The truth, I am absolutely terrified of the weight room, it intimidates the shit out of me. Thinking about going to the weight room, I kind of most definitely want to vomit, makes me that nervous. I feel like a dangling piece of meat in there with all those meat heads. And I'm not talking about a good piece of meat, I mean like I feel like they check me out and make snarky comments like "look at that fat ass!" and not baby got back fat ass, I mean like moo cow moo! So long story short, I let Honey down with having the dreams of having a girlfriend who would gladly join him at the gym, which is one of the first things he mentioned at the beginning of our relationship that he would love to have.

Sunday Honey mentioned on our way back from DTown, his hometown, that he was probably going to hit the gym. Okay first and foremost, he has a pretty set schedule: Monday, Tuesday, off on Wednesday, back at it on Thursday through Saturday, off on Sunday's. Normally unless he works late he sticks to the schedule, I want his drive and motivation!! He mentioned that with Thanksgiving coming up that his schedule would be thrown off so he wanted to go ahead and get ahead. As always, I start thinking and then that thought goes into another thought and keeps trailing till I ask him if Sundays were super busy? I figured most people take sundays off, it just seems like that would be the case. He told me that they weren't at all and all of a sudden I had a lightbulb. Ive been wanting to hit the gym but honestly, with my fear of the weight room, my lack of love for the elliptical, and really only liking the treadmill I kind of have no hope. So I decided to dare myself. I dared myself to hit the weight room with Honey. He will be by my side, he won't let the machines bite me. He would beat up anyone who made fat jokes, or so I would hope but he's kind of extremely easy going and with that being said he would probably tell me to pay no attention and that I'm beautiful in attempts to make it okay, yeah he's dreamy. So by the time we got to the house, I ran in and put on the fat suit, aka gym clothes, and was standing at the door ready to go. I didn't want to be able to turn back. After all was said and done, its not that bad. I just need to boost my confidence level and remember that fat people who are scared of the weight room are going to remain fat, hence me a year later...still fat. Honey is continuing to work with me. We went again today it's really not that bad but will take some getting use to when it comes to being out of my comfort zone.

And so I've taken one more baby step towards achieving a healthy lifestyle, getting weight off, and being fit.

it feels great.

Monday, November 21, 2011

breaking cynical

Note, I above all people hated everything and anything to do with the Twilight saga. Twilight lovers, do not stop here, keep reading. I even cringed when I heard people talking about it. It literally drove me nuts. Vampires? Werewolves? No thank you, get a life and get back to reality. Please and thank you.

Monday furthermore pushed me away from the ridiculousness. All said and done, I was not giving up my girls night. I want this. I need this. I'm going to make it happen at any cost even if its at the cost of me sitting through a two hour movie cringing my teeth and though going unsaid, making fun of everyone around me.

The twist: my friend, short we'll say Mogo a nickname given to her at work, informed me that she didn't want me to go unless I've seen the first three because she didn't want me to ask questions all throughout the movie she knows me too well. Cringing the entire time I agreed to watch the first three movies. Day to start watching them: Thursday after work at three. Day they must be finished: Friday, after work at three finished by 9:50PM. Long story short, I have had to cram in 6 hours worth of movies followed by another 2 hours of a movie in the theatre. Challenge accepted. Challenge completed. I'm in LOVE.

Public announcement: I apologize to anyone I've ever picked at for being a Twilight obsessed lunatic. After I watched the first one, glued in sitting on the edge of the bed, not even batting an eyelash...I could've stayed up all night watching the other two if it weren't for getting up for work at 5:30AM the next morning.

Prior to viewing, I had made plans with my bestie, Bee for short, to go thrift shopping coming in a later post. My idea was to go to the three thrift store in town and then go home and fast forward through the second and third movies. Skipping most, but still catching the drift of what was taking place. Oh no, plans halted, idea changed. We hit up one thrift store, quickly to add, and went our separate ways in order to meet up that night for the dreadful viewing, waiting in line, and being surrounded by the obsessed. I quickly made it home, skipping a cigarette break and all, popped the DVD in, and skipped through my favorite part—the previews. After New Moon was over, still skipping a cigarette break and not minding my overflowing bladder, I popped in the Eclipse and continued to be glued to the television screen.

Unfortunately I still didn't have time to finish all of it, I tried to fast forward through the parts where they are just gazing into each others eyes and whatnot but still tried to get the big picture, which was accomplished. I hardly put on any makeup, threw on a hoodie, straightened out my hair from where it had been messed up from laying on a pillow, and made my way to the theatre as quickly, and safely I might add, as possible. The movie started at 9:50 we got there at 9 and still had to wait in line past the food court, our theatre is in the mall. We got the perfect seats and everything.

For short, I cried several times within the 8 hours of movie watching. To say I'm anxious for part two of Breaking Dawn is an understatement. SAB, now that she's talking to me like a human again and not an animal with rabies, told me to just read the book. Honestly I cant bring myself to do it. I didn't read any of the others and I don't want to be let down by the part two of the movie. I can't stop thinking of all the love and passion between Bella and Edward. I feel crazy for now being a Twilight obsessed. But I cannot help it, I'm a sucker for a love story and theirs takes the bate. Even more so than The Notebook or gasp! Romeo and Juliet.

So there's my confession. I would give a review but hell, I'm so torn up over all of it I would probably throw some a ton of spoilers in there.

Your thoughts on Breaking Dawn?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

chicken crossing

So over the past couple of days I have no had any time to post anything. I know that's what scheduled posts are made for but there's one thing I don't like about schedule posts. the scheduled post is posted, later that day I have time to kill and I've thought up something that I actually wanted to post thatday. It never fails. I mean I could schedule it for the following day, but then everything I want to post is going to be scheduled in advance and by the time it's posted, chances are I won't care about it anymore. Okay and this is where I'm losing you. Lol

So I met with a diet doctor, yes an actual diet doctor not one of those nutritionists at weight watchers, Wednesday evening. For short we will call him DH. I swear to you he was more excited about me losing weight then Honey and I combined. Maybe it was an attempt to get me excited, however after several failing attempts over the past four years I'm just not that excited anymore. I'm aware I give up to easily and it's my fault, not the diet(s). However normally I go for the cheap diets, if I fail not much money was lost. In the end the $ adds up. This time I have no choice, Honey paid a whopping $210 on this. There's no room for error. I cannot let him down.

The thing I liked loved about DH, he didn't sugarcoat shit. Some call him a whack, I call it brilliant. The first thing a diet doctor is going to tell you, okay maybe not the first but it will come up, is to drop the sodas. ALL sodas. Not DH. He didn't verbalize it but I saw where he was going with it. He's focusing on cutting the calories first rather than changing your lifestyle on the spin of a dime aka ending in total failure its too much of a lifestyle shock. He gave me the "okay" on drinking diet sodas, cutting the calories yet still giving me the pleasure of a nice cold soda. He even encouraged me to still keep drinking my coffee as long as I use a zero calorie sugar substitute. Perfect, I already use sweet-n-low

Secondly, he didn't love the fact that I smoke cigarettes but told me that we would eventually wean them out and get me to a healthier lifestyle. I'm okay with that. So I've been trying to watch my calories and choose healthier alternatives without overdoing it, I don't want to send myself into shock and start backing away. Last night Honey and I celebrated his nephews birthday at Outback Steakhouse. Now, I could've gone for simple grilled chicken but quite frankly I don't care if I ever eat chicken again after forcing it down so much. So I decided to still eat chicken rather than my normal fucking delicious extremely bad for you cheeseburger and fries but I decided to change it up hoping I saved some calories by going with the Alice Spring Quesadilla, the small portion 4 slices over the regular portion, 8. When it came out to the table I quickly realized it wasn't the best choice, even though it was grilled. I could tell it was greasy looking and I even mentioned it but Honey argued that it was probably just from the skillet and that it wasn't that bad for me. Now, coming from Honey it made me feel better just because when it comes to fitness he knows what the hell he's talking about. However, conversation was brought up this morning again about the poor seemingly okay choice of the quesadilla. The result? It was not seemingly okay at all. And just because I know Honey will read this, I'm going to go ahead and say it...I was right. When I first googles it, it didn't mention the portion size. When I told honey it said almost 650 calories, he quickly responded with "that's probably the regular size quesadilla, you got the small one". On that note, I had to find out the portion and what calories belonged to what.

The results:
Small portion, four slices: 623 calories.
Regular portion, eight slices: 1494 calories.

My lesson learned: just because it says grilled chicken, yes it may be healthier than fried, but it does not always mean it's the healthiest chicken choice on the menu. Which my dumb ass glued into 'grilled part' self decided to look beyond the cheese and the sautéed mushrooms along with the honey mustard dipping sauce. I should've browsed the menu beforehand, on the way there, to weigh my pun intended. However I will pat myself of the back for taking my time eating it and not ordering my cheeseburger and fries. When asked by the waitress, I opted out on order a side dish. ::clap clap for my self control::

Hope everyones having a happy Sunday. Here it's soggy outside with wet roads and falling autumn leaves. I'm not ready for the autumn leaves to fall yet, bare trees means cold weather. I'm not ready for that yet, but that's a whole 'nother blog post for another day.

*side note, take today to look around with all God has blessed you with. Instead of dreading the work week starting tomorrow, thank God for blessing you with a job in order to put a roof over your head. Instead of being frustrated because your child(ren) didn't sleep in longer than you wanted, thank God for blessing you with fertility and the strength that got you through labor. When you start looking for all the blessings around you, you'll be surprised by what you've overlooked so many times before. And if you're not, then you're clearly not looking hard enough. "A faithful man shall abound with blessings, but he who makes haste to be rich, at any cost, shall not go unpunished." Proverbs 28:20

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

wine for babies

Oh hush, just keep reading.

So to say that yesterday was less than an ideal way to start off my week would definitely be an understatement. Today I've decided to turn that all around and besides going to work, I'm making this day about me. I treated myself to some wine, Pinot grigio to be exact. I love a good glass of wine but I don't drink frequently enough in my leisure time to actually finish a whole bottle. So to sum it up, I waste a tad more than half of a bottle. Today, however, I decided I was going to buy a bottle and I don't care if I throw all of it away but one sip! Lucky for me I came across baby bottles!

And no, I do not mean a bottle of wine for a baby lol. The bottle contains just enough for one glass of wine. You can buy them in sets of four and for someone like me, its perfect!

So I figured what better way to reflect my "me" day through my blog than to do a follow up on my FAQ's. In the post I asked for you all to ask me questions that I would later respond to. However due to my lack of popularity I only had one person ask me some questions but that's okay cause it's the lady behind the scene of one of my top five favorite blogs.

And so Venassa asks...

"What are some things you and Honey do for fun? Minus the obvious..."
Well, let's see...supposing that the 'obvious' is the bedroom boom, horizontal tango, or even the pants party then that takes away one of my favorites. Haha only kidding...kinda. Honey and I are a lot like old people. We live simple lives of work and home, but when we feel wild we will head to dinner and sometimes a movie. In the summertime we like to ride the Harley, go to bike rallies and what not. Other than that we spend our fun time entertaining each other.

"What were you like in high school?"
Oh geez, awesome?! Duh?! Um it really depends on what school you want to talk about. Of course I'm going to go with my hometown high school because high school here in C'ville was less than ideal. At BHS I was friends with literally everyone, popular girls, jocks, nerds, gothics, ghettos, um no seriously everyone. I won't classify myself as one of the popular crowd I was just kind of a person that was floating around and happy for the most part. I didn't stick with just one style of clothing. I dressed depending upon my mood for which I got a lot of shit for here in Clarksville yet in Hendersonville I had even heard someone say it was inspiring. So whatever here's a few pictures that document my random style.

Preppy with my polo on.

Flirty little sundress. Don't ask what I'm doing. Keyword high school.

Skater in my etnies tee. I'm sure it was paired with a studded belt and holed jeans.

No makeup chilling in a tee.

My thrifty goodwill tee and oversized jewelry? Cant go wrong!

Okay so moving on...

"What's your worst habit?"
Really Venassa?! Lol only kidding. I bite my nails which is less than ideal. Honey would probably say that my worst habit is me leaving my work cups all around the house and forgetting to trash them. Hehe, ever since he brought it to my attention I've worked on it, I will admit.

Okay that was oodles of fun ask me more! Haha. I'm off to catch up on responding to emails, reading blogs, and finishing up my scrumptious glass of wine.

Happy Tuesday :) oh wait is it too late for that? I mean it is kind of getting close to shutting tuesday down and all...oh well tomorrows hump day and I hope you do just that! Lots of humping :D

Monday, November 14, 2011

the honest villain

So a good day turned less than ideal on the spin of a dime. Recently I was asked by one of my employees to join a girls night out to see the premiere of Breaking Dawn. Unbeknownst to me that SAB is going. So SAB took it upon herself to buy everyone's tickets. Everyone BUT mine and one other persons. Bitch. So being the straight forward person that I am I decided to fuck talking shit behind her back and go straight to the Cunt herself. I sarcastically said thank you for getting my ticket and followed with that I would get my own and I didn't need her to do me any favors. So the drama gates open. Now everyone is texting me saying this and saying that and somehow it was made into the fact that I stirred all sorts of shit up. Excuse me? I confronted the bitch and went upon my merry way. They're the ones calling and talking shit about everything. I'm the only one who skipped the shit talking step yet I'm the Villain. Yeah that makes total fuckin sense.

I'm tired of people being fake. Tell it like it is. Dont talk shit about SAB if you're only goin to turn around and butter that bitches roll. I'm so beyond this high school shit. I don't even give a fuck if I see the movie or not. Grow the fuck up.

Obviously I'm having the best Monday ever. This can go down in the history books.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Diva's FAQ

So recently Venassa over at Live Your Life posted a FAQ blog. Recently I thought about doing this but really there was two different ways I wanted to go about posting this. However I've decided to combine the two. So here are some of my most FAQ about myself that I get on sometimes a daily, sometimes a weekly basis.

1. What kind of makeup do you use?
Answer: my foundation changes frequently being that A I don't want to spend money on the good stuff and B that I don't feel like waiting on shipping. For the most part I use MAC cosmetics foundation in Studio Fix. If I go with drug store I use Maybelline Fit Me, so far its the best I've come across that doesn't end up splotchy by noon. As far as eyeshadow goes, I'm a junky with a problem. But seriously, last Christmas I bought a collection palette from Sephora and I still cannot get enough of it.

I love it! It comes in a box and when you unfold it it just keeps unfolding magical goodness.

2. Are you wearing colored contacts?
Answer: negative, bitches this shit is all me! I have naturally blue eyes and when the sunlight hits them just right, they practically glow.

Above is a high school picture, blue eyes. Shocker. Below is now, still blue eyes!

3. Where do you get your hair done? How do you get it to stay so poofy? (I combined these two to git-r-dun.
Though the majority of readers aren't from here, I'll inform you I go to The Chameleon to get my hair done by this sweet woman named Brandy. And my poofiness?

That. That right there is how I get my poofiness. Fat Hair "0" Calories hair spray is by far the besttttt hair spray ever. To the left of the Sephora box, second bottle over from the right, is Big Sexy Hair What A Tease, backcomb in a bottle. I use to tease my hair all the time and unlike most people it isn't hard for me to get the tease out. However I do lose hair in the process and it thins your hair out. So I give to you the best alternative yet. Seriously the backcomb in a bottle is amazing. I load my hair up with it every morning. From left to right: Big Sexy Hair blow dry volumizing gel, great base for give your hair a little extra oomph. Fat Hair hairspray, previously mentioned. Fat Hair "0" Calories hair thickening creme. Definitely a product you have to go easy with because if not, your hair will be greasy as hell and kind of matted. Then it's the What A Tease by Big Sexy Hair. Following it in the little can is OSIS Thrill. This is for after your hair is blow dried you get a tiny pinch of it and rub it between your fingers and kind of style and place your hair exactly where you want it. So there you have it, my poof.

3. Are you married?
Answer: you know the answer, no not yet.

4. In reference to my clothes I'm constantly asked "where did you get that at?"
Answer: I'm cheap. So basically everywhere you probably haven't looked. To name a few, Walmart, Target, Goodwill, Rainbow, TJ Maxx, and Body Central. The last three are for when I decide to splurge. I'm not like a lot of women, I rather pay very little and get a whole lot than pay a whole lot and get very little. However, a purse is something you should never cheap yourself on!

5. In reference to my office space and work, a lot of times I get asked "who does all the pretty writing?" "who does all the organizing" "who labeled everything so nicely?" so on so forth...
Answer: the one and only, me. I get OCD. I love organization. And if everything is in an organized manner work seems to be conquered much more efficiently.

That's all I got for now. Just like Venassa said at the end of her post, nothing is too personal so feel free to ask me questions that I can answer in a later post :) also go check out that hot mommas blog. :-P

Friday, November 11, 2011

Out and about

Ahh, at last it's Friday! You know what this means... IM OFF WORK!! Yippee skippee! So my schedule is about to change at work. Currently is 7-3 Monday through Thursday of Friday and 7-12 on Saturday. Now since I'm currently training one of my employees to open she will be opening for me on Saturday's now so my schedule can switch back to Monday-Friday 7-3; 40 hours a week. I use to not have to open on Saturday's but once Jacob Riley was born I started opening for my sister so she could take Saturday's completely off with him. So now instead of me being off Friday and then honey being of Saturday, we can now enjoy Saturday's off with each other. ::squeals with excitement!:: but enough about work on my day off and all. Last Friday remember how I was so excited about not working? Ended up practically working all day. Started with The Big Man waking me up with a phone call about work, then I took a delivery for work, then I had to deal with one of my employees not showing up, then another phone call from The Big Man about switching our paper goods inventory, and it continued. I have a 24/7 job and only get paid for 40 hours of it. and this is where stay at home moms raise an eyebrow and look at me like I don't have any issues in the world. I argue though that its not like having one kid to look after all day it's like having 11 and that includes The Big Man. You see, without me watching after him he wouldn't get his shit done. He forgets most things so I'm constantly trying to keep up with all I have to remember plus his reminders as well. Okay! Enough about work!

So I'm spending the day with my mom running around town going to places that we say we need to go to all the time but never taking the time to do it. We're covering those today. Plus our big town with nothing in it has finally gotten a Bed Bath and Beyond so we're hitting that shit up on the real lol. We use to have a Linens and Things but with those going out of business we are left with zero home goods places. I'm still begging for Ross, Marshalls, and MAC Cosmetics to come to town, but I don't see those happening anytime soon. My mom and I have even contacted the MAC big guys and they say there's just not enough need for one blah blah blah so now we have to drive out of town or order off line. Basically I took my hometown for granted with all that it had to offer, I was definitely spoiled. especially being so close to Nashville. Because what we didn't have, Nashville did and more.

Now I'm off to go shower and primp for a day out with my Madre. Catch ya on the flip side ;)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Favorite blogs

Lately I've been wanting to find more blogs to read but simply have not come by any that really pique my interest. So I have decided to throw some of my favorites out there. What would be really awesome? If you were to list your top five favorite reads as well. Leave it in a comment, or even a post and comment with the URL to your post.

So I present you with my top five favorite blogs and I'm even going to go as far to tell you why.

#1: Boobies
-why? Because she's fucking hilarious thats why. Needless to say shes always hosting giveaways that are bad ass.

#2: Venassa
-why? Because she's the type of girl I can see myself having coffee with and chatting about nonsense. Recently adding a new addition to her family is a bonus to read about. She's straight forward with the good bad and ugly about motherhood and that's what I want to hear not the sugar coated bullshit.

-why? Though I may be bias due to the fact that her and I went to highschool together, her blog is still a great read. Newly married so I can identify with being a young couple. She posts great recipes along with adorable pictures of her dog Jaxon and so much more.

#4: Saucy Bitch
-why? Ah hem, her name should say it all!

#5: Summer
-why? Because she is one of the sweetest people I've ever met through blogging. She is an inspiration and passionate about life. She loves and adores her family and this is seen clearly in each post that she writes.

Now give me some suggestions people! Also go check those bloggers out. You'll love em! :)

Now I'm off to get back to work. What I really should've been doing all along :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

mushy gushy lovey dovey

*Honey: if you're reading this, stop. I don't want you going and getting a big head!

So Honey and I have almost been together for a year, December 5th to be exact. Still to this day I get so excited to see him I could scream. When I think about how much I love him I could just go crazy and squeal. I've definitely never felt this way about anyone before. Needless to say, the love I have for him is unlike any type of love I have ever experienced. He seriously makes me so freaking happy.

My track record: with a guy for two weeks, get bored, single again. If they pass the two week mark chances are they make it to two months. By two months I'm bored out of my mind and ready to kill.

Honey, on the other hand:
Still amuses me. Constantly keeps me entertained. Makes me giggle with a side of butterflies. I'm always excited to see him. The best cuddle bug ever. He knows exactly what buttons to push yet somehow I always let him off the hook. he's kind of too cute to stay mad at He's patient with me, loving, considerate, passionate, and all around perfect for me. When he starts to be an ass, I let him know. Unlike other guys they become even more of an ass yet Honey quickly apologizes and makes up for it. He is the perfect man and any girl that has ever passed him up before is a fucking dumb ass. But I thank my lucky stars that they did because now he's all mine.

Can we just talk about his cuddling! Before I never knew there was a right or wrong good or bad cuddling option but now I'm fully aware it exists. Because every guy Honey and I spoon when we lay down to go to sleep at night. To no ones surprise this totally opposite of modest diva sleeps naked. So when spooning Honey throws his arm over me and holds on to a boob. And right when he thinks one tit is getting too much attention he switches. Haha. He always holds me till I fall asleep. Sometimes he has to roll over to the other side because his left side starts to get uncomfortable so we always reverse our spoon, my arm going over his chest and him holding that hand. This is the way I fall asleep every night in his bed. In the morning we wake up and it's less like a spoon and more like a fork, or maybe a spork. Because our legs are all tangled up and everything else. Ahhh I love it!

Maybe I'm being mushy gushy. But what can I say, I love that man.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, November 7, 2011

Short and sweet

I had a post that I was going to write but time got away from me and now I'm about to go to bed. So I'm keeping it short and sweet.

I love that guy. Though I spent all weekend with him and just saw him this morning, I'm so excited to see him again. Ahh butterflies :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, November 6, 2011

[fresh] start

Okay I know I've been a blog post vomiting whore the past couple of days but I have a lot to say. If I don't say it now, you'll have another 6 months of a dry blog with no posts. Carry on...

So unlike last post I actually have a topic for this one, not just a bunch of random ranting. However, I did have a random thought come to me...does anyone remember Furbies? Seriously when I was younger I remember my mom and all her friends went to the mall at three in the morning and waited in line for two hours to get one for me. Yeah it was one of those knock people down, act insane all for a fucking toy type shit. Luckily my mom has her sanity and she did not partake in the crazy festivities but still, those things were fucking weird looking back now.

On to the real topic of this post. Okay so I aforementioned in another post months ago that I was attempting to lose weight and get in shape. Summer came along I had to stop taking oxy pro elite because you couldn't consume alcohol on it. Okay I could have said no to the alcohol but seriously I'm not mad at myself for it. Why? Because in the end the pill was just a pillow. I still didn't change my way of eating. I didn't learn anything about nutrition nor did I make a fitness routine. So here I am, with probably all of my loss 20+ lbs added right back on.

I've decided to start researching more into nutrition. Figuring out ways to eat healthy that fit into my busy schedule. I'm extremely active at work, changing my diet alone would do me wonders. I'm starting small I don't want to overload myself all at once. Honey and I went to the grocery store and bought a few things to get me started. I bought a large tub of vanilla yogurt along with some fresh fruits to add in. Also I bought several different items to change up eating chicken, since thats a great source of protein. I bought wheat tortillas and I plan on making chicken wraps. I got some organic black bean and corn salsa, onions, celery, pomegranate dressing, and honey mustard along with a few other things. Honey cooked my chicken for me for the week so that part is done. I feel like I'm on the right track but I feel like I have a lot more to learn.

I'm not going to post an ass ton about my fat ass, but I'll post a little here and there. Please feel free to leave helpful comments. They'll be greatly appreciated :)

Birthday, Christmas, RANT!

Though I'm super excited to be gaining an extra hour of sleep in Fall Back daylight savings, I'm not so excited that my internal clock will probably still wake me up way before time to go to work. That's just my luck. Oh well, more time to primp and beautify!

Today Honey and I will be attending Chuck E Cheese for Jacob Riley's second birthday. The last time I was there, I got kicked out because I didn't have a kid too old to play, too young to have a kid. I guess if I were a parent I wouldn't want little snot nosed high schoolers clouding my child's playtime either, however at the time I was devastated. Speaking of Jacob Riley, I finished, or thought that I did anyways, his Christmas shopping yesterday. I had to pick up some wrapping paper to wrap his birthday present and while perusing around to waste a little time I came across a $5 mini-potato head. Ding ding ding! Perfect little gift to top of his others. I come home and decide to wrap his birthday gift. I bought Cars wrapping paper so I could also use it for his Christmas gifts as well, I like to get the most for my money. So I'm through with wrapping his Christmas gifts as well, all but the potato head and as I get halfway through with it...I realize the inevitable happened. Yes, I fucked up... I bought MRS. Potato Head!! What the hell I cant give is to him!? Though he's only two and wouldn't know any better, I know better and so will his parents. Oh the devastation. You see this wouldn't be that big of a deal except the other day I went to go buy the "last finishing touch gift" and as the cashier went to ring it up she looks at me and tells me that they hadn't had a chance to pull it from the shelf but the toy had been recalled. What the hell?! I was excited over the gift too, it was a race car wheel and it vibrated and had blinkers and everything. It was the ultimate cheap yet bad ass gift (5$ you cant beat it!). So I guess it's just not meant for me to go the cheap route when buying the last small present.

Via google images

So yesterday I rearranged Honey's entire room, cleaned the baseboards, washed clothes, washed his work clothes....everything. When asked if he liked his newly arranged room, his response? "yeah it's fine, as long as I can still get in bed and watch tv and go to sleep it's good" really?! I spent all that time for that response? Fail. This morning I had to run to the DG to get coffee filters because I was out. I wanted to start my day with coffee and a cigarette and yet I was out of filters, typical yet not the point. So as I'm leaving Honey asks me if I wanted to stop and get breakfast. Upon realizing that neither of us were in the mood for greasy sonic or sugar overloaded donuts he decided to settle for a bowl of cereal or oatmeal. When buying my filters I decided I would try to, once again, do something nice for him and cook pancakes for breakfast. Get home, drink coffee, talk to mom, smoke cigarettes, cook pancakes. Midway through breakfast I ask, "isn't this better than greasy sonic?" his response, "yeah its alright". What the fuck?! I'm almost ready to throw in the towel on cooking for him because out of the year we've been together I've received one compliment on my dinner. He made the comment yesterday after coming home from his parents house, "I should have got mom to give me some recipes for you". Kill me now. I'm not his momma. I'll never be his momma. And honestly he doesn't realize it but it's a huge slap in the face. And whether he's joking or not about my breakfast being less than satisfactory, it makes me feel less of a woman. I pay for the groceries to cook for him, I slave over the stovetop so he doesn't have to eat his basic chicken and rice that he has lived off of before I came along and all I get is, "it's alright", "should've got moms recipes", "I miss my moms cooking". A part of me wants to tell him to go fuck his mom then cause I'll never be her but the more rational side of me let's it go only for it to be brought up a day or week later. I may not be a chef but give me the time and practice and I'll become something close to it. Instead I feel like I'm getting set back a step every time I try and I don't really know why I haven't given up yet. I'm leery of even posting this because I'm afraid this will be one of the posts that Honey reads. However, this is my space and I'm venting!

By no means are we fighting, I'm just hurt on the inside by all of it. The last time I said something to him about be ungrateful for the things that I do for him he responds with the fact that I didn't have to do it and that he never asked me too. Not what I want to hear. I've hinted at the fact that it hurts my feelings for him to not like what I cook but he hasn't quite caught on yet. I just would like an ounce of appreciation. I would probably cook moe often if that was the case. Instead I'm extremely discouraged.

This post turned into something that was not previously planned but just kind of happened as I started ranting. Oh well. Hope everyone is have an awesome Sunday! I know I will be here shortly when I get to see the light of my life, my bundle of joy, my favorite person in the entire world Mr. Jacob Riley!

one of his most recents:

I put my iPhone camera on FaceTime and he was getting a huge kick out of seeing himself. Who couldn't love those chubby cheeks and head full of hair?