something new...

All that I've wanted for so long could possibly be here. I've wanted it for so long that I don't want to say too much and jinx it but I will say this, I am truly happy where I'm at right now.

I use to judge people who used dating websites. I actually laughed and thought that they were desperate. In the end is desperation measured by what lengths we will go to in order to find what we really want in life? If so, I'm desperate and I'm not ashamed to say so. I've hidden the fact that I joined a dating website because in reality I didn't want people thinking that I couldn't get a date on my own without using internet resources. However, I have come to a smarter, more realistic conclusion. There's no reason to be ashamed. By joining I cut through the crap and got down to what I was really wanting. I can't count how many dates I've been on and questioned myself on what the other person was really looking for. By dating via Internet I cut straight to the point. There's no wondering involved you know what they want i.e. sex, dating, long term. Though my best friend even gave me crap for it, she ended up joining just to see what it was like and what do ya know she's dating someone now that she actually met from there. HA!

Anyways so this is how the story goes: I had been on the site for probably 6 months. I talked to two guys in the that time frame, nothing serious. However this one profile kept showing up on my matches and something kept intriguing me about his picture. However, his picture had a kid in it and I'm not really into dating someone with children due to a prior bad experience. So I never clicked on his profile to even view it. Three months later I still keep seeing him pop up but now he has a different picture. So I finally click on his profile just to read what he's about however I never read whether or not he had children because subconsciously I had my mind made up that he did. Well not too long ago I read his profile one last time. Come to find out it's his niece and nephews. Also come to find out he goes to church every Sunday and sits with his grandfather then heads to his grandmas to eat breakfast and hang out with his niece and nephews. Godly man? Family man? ...you had me from hello! Ha.

So I messaged him and long story short we went on our first date which maybe one day I will go into more detail about. However I will say this, we were both so nervous that he even took his anxiety medication and brought a back up. Everything went great we've seen each other several times since and we text all day/night.

I'm super excited about this one.
However, in all honesty, I'm scared as hell.