moment of truth

So you're probably thinking wow two posts in a day? Yeah I know. I'm not trying to make up for the past days missed, I just feel the need to write and I don't have a paper journal on me at the moment, so deal.

I'm having one of those days. Those days where you're completely down and out and want to give up on everything you've been working towards. As fore mentioned I've been trying to lose weight. I understand every weigh in isn't going to be magical but to have gained a half pound in the last week on top of the other thing that has me in the pits kind of makes me want to say fuck it all together.

Moment of truth? Yeah I'm totally tempted to go get some greasy pizza and say fuck the gym. I'm not in the mood to be surrounded by girls who already know what the hell is going on in Zumba for me to continuously trip over my feet in the back row. Yeah for the most part, since I've been more than a handful of times, I know what's going on. I just need to practice my footwork. However I'm not in the mood.

I'm not going to post about what has me down because I'm not really in the mood to admit it even to myself. Last night I cried myself to sleep, this morning I was angry about it, and now I'm just ready to crawl in bed and cry because I simply feel like I have failed.

To others it may have not meant much but to me it was a huge kick in the gut. With that being said I'm going to go make a healthy choice of dinner yet skip the gym.


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