Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The real diva bee, please stand up.

You see, originally I wanted my URL to be divabee.blogspot.com however, it was taken. After having THEdivabee.blogspot.com for going on two years now, it has just now hit me hey! Let's go see who snatched the name up, only to find out they have written all of one blog post, and I thought I was bad? If you've read this blog for any time at all then you know I work for my dad at his restaurant and doing catering. Our specialty? Barbecue. Now I present to you, the one and only post ever made by "diva bee".

please..compare me to a pork product.
I am a waitress.
Now, Im sure many have had the.."opportunity" to serve others, however, if you haven't.
I envy the shit out of you.

The simple task of making small, polite conversation with strangers gets harder and harder with every single step that I take in my ugly, faux Converse, non-slip shoes!

And on top of that, you want me to get their drinks and take their food order too!
man, you're killin me.

You see, some of you may be thinking, "ya know, there are worse things." But no..no, i assure you, there are not. I've seen the dark side of the world, and unfortunately, Im employed there.
I work at a BBQ pit, where there are too many managers (and micro managers), too much BBQ sauce (I mean, that shit's everywhere), and so much pork product that Im starting to think the building is edible..perhaps Im pork product now.

Now, don't get me wrong, the cash is fast and the work is pretty much easy--but talkin about BBQ with customers is not an ideal conversation topic because not only do I not care at all, whatsoever, but neither do they. Yet my boss walks the floor to make sure i draw catchy and witty pictures on a plate, with different sauces.
im encouraged to start conversations about ribs.
Honestly..no one gives a fuck.
If you came up to me and started talkin to be about pork ribs, I would look at you like you were an artard and then proceed to kick you. It's just the most appropriate response.
So i go to work everyday hoping no one will kick me.

But what's worse about the pit of hell??
It's exactly like HIGH SCHOOL. (Dun Dun Dun..)
yep. the same bitching, moaning, groaning, gossiping, hookups, scandals, sabotages..all for 5 tables, for 4 hours. Im the youngest employee there and have yet to fight with someone.
It's all the grown folks. It's stupid really.
But the juice, the drama, the gossip, it's bad man. There's bitches sleepin with GMs, people stealin BBQ, coke lines being snorted off the toliet paper dispenser in the men's bathroom, older guys wanting to get busy with little girls. What?

..hahaha, and the tipping?
should I get into that??
That's a whole 'nother blog.
but, it is 20% people.

I cannot help but to laugh at the irony of it all. Though my job is clearly nothing like this minus the sometimes it can be much like high school part... Oh and the snorting coke part....KIDDING! But the fact that she works in the barbecue business and sounds almost as big of a smart ass as me...definitely irony. Us divas must think very much alike.

Only I'm the real Diva Bee. ;)

you can find this post at www.divabee.blogspot.com though I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be hit with copyright bullshit considering this was posted in 2009. I'm showing I care.

And for those of you thinking "woohoo the diva made it back two days in a row!" yeah this shit was totally a scheduled post. Hehe.

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