A VS. J

I've recently found someone that I think is pretty special. Well, actually I've been catching up with that person that I think is really special. However, what happends? The game that all single 21 year old single females hate. This special person is J. He's hilarious, he has a lot of qualities that I would expect to see in my future husband, and needless to say extremely charming.

Then there's A. I met A through work and became acquainted with him. Eventually it led to interest. However the more I got to know A the more I wish I didn't know A and the more I wanted to get away from A. (However, he works next door to me... real convenient, eh?)

So the game? A wants to be with me, I want to be with J, and J isn't interested in more than friends. SERIOUSLY! I have tried my patience. I know that God has someone planned for me but seriously, for some reason I can't stop thinking about J. I literally think of him all day long like a little girl in high school... it's rather ridiculous with a twist of irony because that's where I actually met J.

Story of J:
It was my senior year and I absolutely hated the school I attended. I got to my fourth period class and was ready to shoot somebody. In walks J, at the time my best friend that just so happened to be in the same class sitting right next to me called him hot boy. (insert giggles). At the time I was with my high school sweetheart and had been for a year and a half. (whom lived an hour away and went to a totally different school) So here's this new kid that is fine as hell, i'm not available however would like to pounce on him like a cheetah in high tops... yes... i just said that. Continuing onwards! J is seated across the walkway from me and all I can do is stare at him through algebra. Eventually we got a new seating arrangement and guess what? I was placed right behind J who sat right beside M (my friend) who sat beside L (best friend) who sat beside me. So there the foursome sat. The back of his head looked just as good as the front... hahaha ok jk anyways. So we all started talking. J and I ended up bonding and becoming pretty good friends but remained just as that because I was in a committed relationship. *Drum Roll* Boyfriend and I breakup. J knew I was somewhat upset but trying to keep my head up about it so he invited me over after school. We sat in his basement for about an hour before I had to leave for work as he walked me out to my car he pushed me against the hood and gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever had in my 18 year old life. Yet, we remained just friends because he was starting to get involved with another girl prior (don't worry it wasn't serious though).

Fast forward: over the past 2 years we've lost contact due to this girl. Turns out they dated for a long while and eventually she got pregnant. A year later, this past October of 09, after many suspicions a DNA test confirmed it wasn't his. In early July J contacted me on Facebook and ended up apologizing for his shadiness that took place throughout our loss of contact. We've now been hanging out every weekend, because during the week our schedules conflict. The more I'm around him the crazier about him I get. I keep thinking that nothing happened between us before because it just wasn't the right timing. Now J has informed me that he doesn't want a relationship for a long time because he wants to finally live the life that he didn't get to for a whole year. I can't say I blame him, but I just wish he felt for me the way I felt for him. I feel like that pretty reasonable thinking for a single 21 year old female that is absolutely nuts about a guy. However, that's not in the works for me right now.

I just wish I knew who my soulmate is. I'm so curious and anxious that I don't want to wait, however I question myself if I'm really ready for that right now in my life. As my mom always says, it'll work out in the wash.

Life as I now see it

I don't know if it has anything to do with my grandmother passing or not, however here lately I have been coming to many accurate conclusions and learning alot about not only myself but life in general. I'm not going to type out a long elaborate/detailed post of these conclusions but I will leave them in a list form.

1. I have realized that you can trust no one in life. The people whom you regard as your friends are not always their true title. People will use and abuse you to further themselves, not only in the work environment but in life as well. Take a look at the people whom you call your friends, look at the time you spend with them... if it's only at their own convenience, drop them. Obviously you weren't that important to them in the first place. Not only this but you can now spend more time with those who actually love to be around you even if it's inconvenience to them... it's just what they prefer.

2. Stick by your faith, in the end it's all you've got.

3. Give God your all, and he will provide you with his.

4. Rid of all negative in your life. It's rather empowering once you do.

5. Stay close to your loved ones. Stay true to yourself. You never know when your last ray of sunlight will be.

I know all of this has been spoken many times before me, and will occur many times after. However, I want this to be a reminder to everyone reading this to live your life. Don't let others pull you down, down let the worldly ways get in the way of what God's plan is for you, and if you don't know yet, just keep believing. Our time is so short on earth and we take it for granted way to often if not all the time.


*Quick reminder: With July coming to an end and August knocking at the door, I will be featuring a new blog of the month. However, I haven't been able to get on as frequently so I don't know which blogs to look out for, therefore if you're interested in being featured, please send me an e-mail. Also, this round I will be having the featured blogger do a guest post. [excitinggg!] Don't be shy! I won't know to look at your blog if you don't knock on my door ;)

It's MIRACULOUS!

Okay, so I don't know if everyone has heard about the Victoria Secrets Miraculous Bra, but seriously, woah diva! I can't even count how many bra's I've purchased over the years try to find that perfect lift and shift for my boobies. I have finally found just that. If you notice in most "push-ups" they have a padding in one of two places on the outter rim of the cup or in the lower bottom of the cup. Not this bad boy. The MB has two pads in both places. When they say you move up two cup sizes, they're not lying. Why buy boobies from a doctor for a 1,000+ dollars when you can spend less than $60 on a bra. Not only is it cheaper, but your boobies can now be customized. Want small boobs for that one dress? You got it, just take the bra off and put your wal-mart bra back on. Don't worry I'm not shaming the fabulous wally world! But when you need that perfect cleavage, never fear my fellow diva's... victoria has your back!

Can anybody tell I loveee finding the perfect product for whatever need it may be? What are some of ya'lls favorite deals, products, etc?

Also I'm thinking about doing a guest blog post, anybody interested in being featured on The Diva Bee? Just send me an e-mail at thehaleybarr[at]yahoo[dot]com. I'll then give you a list of themes you can choose from.

Hope everybody's having a happy Sunday!

Quote of the Week

Life and Death

I don't really know how to start this post off. I have no clever lines nor wit. All I have is facts. Fact: my grandmother is in the hospital and though no one will admit it to me, I know that it's possible she's laying on her death bed. Every week is up and down. She's doing good. She's not doing so good. But no one will tell me the truth of what's really going on. I don't blame them, I tend to not be able to handle serious circumstances without going into a depression. I mourn day in and day out. I'm sure they're all just tryin to protect me. However for some reason I know without a doubt what's going on and somehow I'm at peace. I'm not going to try and fight God's will. I'm not going to pray for her life, because if it's in His will to have her with him I can't fight that. My prayers are constantly filled with me asking God to do as he pleases and to not let me be selfish. Fact: I will be upset if she doesn't walk out of those hospital doors. Fact: I cant control the situation so I need to trust Gods plans.

This is just one more reminder for me to not let my days go by without thanking God for all his many blessings. Life is a blessing that many days goes unappreciated. We take our blessings for granted so much that it disturbs me for the simple fact that I'm constantly doing so myself. In the movie public enemies Clark Gables famous line was presented "Die like you live". Many of times I hear live like your dying but when I heard this it got my thought process in action. I personally don't want to die in pain and suffering. Therfore why should I live that way. The outcome of my pondering led me to this: I need to laugh more, I need to smile more, I need to give more, and I need to love and experience more.

We only have so much time. I want to make use of it the best way I can all the meanwhile holding Gods hand.

Quote of the Week

Blog of the month goes to...

Bailey at Addicted to Addison!



If you've never read her blog before, nows the time that you should! She's always making posts filled with adorable pictures of Addison, her little girl. She's always so nice and needless to say she's an amazing blog designer! I mean... just look at my fabulous blog! Haha.

So Bailey, here ya go.. here's your lovely award for you to post :)

QOTW

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