Tuesday, August 17, 2010

the facts of life.

A few things have been dangling over my head lately. As soon as I wash away the little danglers, the damn things come back. All I keep thinking about it how basically, I have no one. Everyone I know, literally, has a boyfriend, husband, fiance, child... you get the picture. I have none of the above. I'm not saying I take my family for granted, because I assure you, I don't. But I still think it would be nice to have that special someone, something, that makes me individual from my family. Maybe 'individual' isn't the right word, but I know what I mean by it. For example, my sister has Justin and Jacob. She has her own life apart from my parents. Whereas, I feel like I'm just a 'floater'. Maybe these feelings were tapped into when I went to my fourth baby shower in less than a year. I have another one that'll be approaching soon, and once again in all selfishness, I'm less than thrilled. I know I should be happy for these people, however I can't help but to wonder when it's going to be my turn. Of course, I prefer 100% to be married first... yet that's not even on a jump start yet. Going on 22 and single. Honestly if you would've asked me a couple of years ago if I would be 22 and single I probably would've laughed in your face. I probably would have replied with a smirky comment a long the lines of, "me, 22 and single? haha ya right, I'll be on my way to Tiffany's!"

Negative.

I know what they say, good things come to those who wait. Well guess what? That's the wrong thing to say to someone who's extremely impatient. I have gave what little patience I have a go, and it quickly made me more panicky. I'm not saying that being in my 20's and single is a horrible thing, but for me I would like to start that special something with that special someone. It's just not happening anytime soon.

Especially since my heart is torn over J and I can, clearly, not get him off my mind. Saturday night update: We didn't really talk much. My sister, BIL, and J talked the majority of the time while I sat all clammed up. I wish I could just be myself, that's the person that J originally became friends with. So why is this so hard? Like honestly, I feel like a little high school teeny bopper. Even more honestly, it SUCKS! I need to stop being so hung up on him. I need to come back down to earth and acknowledge the facts. The facts of life.

2 comments:

  1. Hey pretty girl,
    Long time no bloggy talk....sorry I haven't commented in awhile....I no I shouldn't make excuses but I have been ill and have had lots going on but I should have totally commented more and I am sorry for that....I still love ya lots and you are still one of my fav bloggy buddies....:0)

    That stinks about J....some guys blech....you think you have them figured out and then ya don't and then you wanna be more than friends and he doesn't or he does and you don't ugggg the game and then the timing is usually not right and well girl we have all been there and done that....sorry you have to go through it...

    If it makes you feel any better I had a Jr. High and High School sweetheart who was a dirt bag and after High School we split up and I thought I would never find someone and I was 22 then....well I met Greg when I was 23 and well you know the rest 9 years later and he is still the hubs and little miss Kelcee is our miracle :0)

    A good friend told me this from bible study the other week "I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that god knows the rest"

    There is that special someone for you, you will find him, God picked him for you.....so right now all of this doesn't make sense but once you find him believe me it all will

    love ya
    SUmmer :0)

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