Monday, August 9, 2010

soul search, or something like that

I've come to the realization that I've lost a lot of readers. Though I still have followers, not many read anymore. I don't know how I should feel l about this but I can't be upset. I haven't been able to post like I want to. My schedule is crazy nuts, but I feel as though that excuse can only run so far. However I'm looking into purchasing a new laptop. Actually a Mac to be precise. My PC is more of a hassle than any sort of enjoyment. It's slow, it's clogged, it's not what I need it to be. Furthermore, I'm working on a solution! So hopefully that will help me back to blognation. It would cut my posting time in half which I seriously need!

Anyways. Moving onwards...

My weight has been bothering the piss out of me lately. I hate that I let myself get this out of shape. I've never been this...this... Oh what's the word.... LARGE before. I find myself tossing and turning at night not being able to shift my weight to a comfortable position. When I do get to that position it only lasts so long. Scientifically speaking I don't know if that's the proper term or not, but I'm not obese nor am I too far over weight. But I'm personally uncomfortable in my skin. I want to buy clothes and get excited about it instead of worrying. When I use to be in shape, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty damn fashionable. I want that weight back. Now the decision. Yes, I want to lose weight but where am I suppose to find my motivation? With my crazy work schedule it's hard to think about exercising and healthy choices. Somehow I have to find a drive within me. I was actually jus reading a blog where they had pictures posted and I couldn't help but to be overwhelmed with jealousy! I'm never really a jealous person, so this is where this post comes into place. I need to reevaluate who I am as a person and what I want from my life. I think by digging down to the source of my problem(s) will somehow help develop that drive that I want and need.

So wth this being said, I ask that you pray for me as I go on a journey to finding myself and realizing my true wants, desires, and drives in my life.


  1. Pretty sure everyone goes through this at some point or another...and everyone definitely has blah days! You'll snap out of it, just give yourself time! I lose readers too, off and on...Just don't let it get to you!

    Saying a prayer for ya, girl!

  2. Praying for ya! I have uncomfortable moments too. Also wish I had motivation to exercise/eat right. It is hard when you are so busy! Glad to see you back!

  3. Thanks ladies, it really means a lot :)


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