Bloggin' Book Worm!

Back when I was in school, aside from studying, I was reading books left and right. So much so that due to lack of monetary funds I made myself slow down on the reading because I was going through books so fast that I could not keep up. I was constantly finding new books I wanted to read and as soon as I was done with one I would go buy another and the pattern continued. It was to the point where if I went a day without something to read it would drive me nuts. I would start asking all my friends for good books and then leaving their dorm room unsatisfied I would start browsing amazon left and right. Ridiculous, I'm aware. Reading was undeniably my anti-drug. haha. Nevertheless I find myself now and I have come to a point where I just don't read anymore. Oh book obsession, where have you gone? Wierd fact: I cherish my books so much that when someone asks to borrow one I slowly melt down inside...and change the subject extremely fast. yeah I'm a freak. Soo, anyways... I have a book right now that I have read about 3/4 of and another book that I bought when I was on a "reading high horse" and I really want to get back into reading. Coincidentally they're both by Nicholas Sparks. The one I've read most of is "The Rescue" and the one that I haven't cracked the spine yet is, "A Bend in the Road". So anyways, that's my objective this week. Besides going to the gym now that I'm back to my 'healthy' self.

Anyways, I thought I would share some of my FAVORITE reads with you! Let the nerd-a-thon begin:

Sunday's At Tiffany's

by James Patterson

[source: amazon.com]

This is an absolutely amazing book! Everytime someone goes to ask me what's your favorite book this is the first book that always pops into my mind. Absolutely mind blowing. You'll definately need a box of tissues, handsdown! An Imaginary Friend, True Love, and an End with a Twist!

Prozac Nation

By: Elizabeth Wurzel

I read this book back when I was a Sophomore in high school. My best friend Katelyn's sister, Kendil, had it sitting on the kitchen counter and I just so happened to start browsing through it and reading bits a pieces. I instantly fell in love, even though I was not a big reader I demanded that she let me borrow it, in return she did. (hell, I was basically apart of her family... I wouldn't have expected otherwise) Anyways it was the first book I had ever read front to back and sincerely enjoyed. Later the first paper I was assigned as a freshman in college was a literary memoir, this was the book I wrote mine on. As a freshman in high school I was diagnosed with depression and this book helped me any many ways. However, it's not a how-to book... it's a memoir. Yet for once in my life I realized that someone elses thoughts and life were truly more messed up than my own. If you've ever battled with depression, I highly suggest this book, hell I suggest it even if you've never had a sad day in your life! Depression, Drugs, a Broken Home, and a society that is clearly not going to except any of it.

*Crank*

*Glass*

*Burned*

*Impulse*

By Ellen Hopkins

This is a great group of books. Ellen Hopkins writes in a poetry form and somehow it makes it to where you just CAN'T put the book down! Each book is about issues that society faces in everyday life. Some more unfortunate than others. However, I do suggest reading Crank before reading Glass because Glass is the sequel. In September of this year Hopkins will be releasing the final sequel in the series, Fallout. :] For more information on these books you can visit http://www.ellenhopkins.com/

Addition Favorites!

-The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks

-Something Borrowed by Emily Giffon

-Secret Fantasy by Carly Phillips

-Sam's Letters to Jennifer by James Patterson

So tell me, what's some of your favorite reads? :]

On another note...
Here's a random thought: I got to thinking about the whole "Texarkana" or whatever the combination of Texas-Arkansas is. If the people that say they live there due to the location of the stateline, would that mean I live in Kentessee? Clarthie, Kentessee? Because I live on the boarder of Clarksville, Tennessee and Guthrie, Kentucky... eh just a thought.

A Diva Ranting

I'm so tired I feel like my eyes are rolling in the back of my head, eh not cute. However I feel the need to post so here it is, for all of those people out there reading my blog that do not really exist.

I went to put up my laundry today and I realized I have a few stray socks with no mates. Now general rule of thumb I would suspect that my washer or dryer was eating them but in this case I think something else is to blame. My bed. Yes, my bed is whom I blame for my one lonely sock that now must be thrown in the little basket of all other unmatchable socks. Let's elaborate! I cannot stand to be hot while trying to fall asleep, however if my feet are cold all hell will break loose. So I always start out wearing socks when I go to bed but in my sleep I either take them off or they magically fall off because every morning I wake up sockless. So my morning routine is to try to find my two socks. Sometimes two are found, other times one is lost. Needless to say everytime I go to do my laundry I always try to check my bed to see if maybe just maybe that one little sock will show up. It hardly ever does. Oh what's a girl to do.

On another note, I just watched Oprah where she interviewed Jay Leno. I am one pissed viewer. Not only did Oprah make many low-blow comments but she was repeatitive throughout the entire interview. When Leno asked Oprah if her view had changed of him she responded as if she were completely on his side however throughout the entire interview it was like she was constantly trying to throw him under the bus. Regarding the whole O'Brien v. Leno controversy I have tried to sit in both chairs. I have tried to see what team O'Brien's POV is and I have tried the same with Leno. This was my conclusion: Oprah kept asking Leno if he felt selfish, did he think what he did was selfish, etc etc. In all honesty I feel that it's Connan O'Brien that is being the selfish one. Everyone keeps asking 'how can Leno take the show from CB and ruin his dream?' um hello audience, let's rewind shall we? CB took The Tonight Show away from JL in the first place. JL was #1 when CB took his show away and by doing that the ratings fell by 49% hello!?! why would they not give the show back to JAY LENO!? Sure JL's The Jay Leno Show's ratings fell by 14% but it was also presented during a different time slot and wasn't exactly the best lead in for the news. Everyone knew that. But Conan O'Brien just completely {scuse my french} fucked up The Tonight Show and SUCKED! end conclusion. So obviously I'm a Leno fan and the sad thing is is I never watched either one of them till the controversy struck up and after seeing the two sides presented my only thought is is that the tabloids totally blew this one outta the water and made it a much bigger deal then needed be. It's not Leno's fault O'Brien sucked. It's not Leno's fault that he did better on TTS then O'Brien did. If you ask me Conan O'Brien is a spoiled little rich Harvard bitch that has spent his life getting his way and when something doesn't go his way he cries... just like a bitch.

ok seriously, end rant. :]

The weather outside is crazy. Seriously, I woke up this morning pissed as hell because there wasn't a single snowflake in site unlike our wonderful middle tennessee meteorologists promised. Um, no when it did start to snow 10 minutes into it the ground was totally covered. We're expected 10in by noon tomorrow. Oh and this makes me ever so excited to be at work by 7am. Blah.

Anyways, speaking of work I should probably head to bed considering 7am is going to come SUPER early. xo's!

Ohh The Weather Outside...

is frightful? Maybe not quite yet. Supposively we're suppose to be getting hit with a huge weather storm yet I haven't seen signs thus far. Then again it's not really suppose to hit til 6am tomorrow. Eh, we'll see.

Okay, so time for a little rant.

How Are You? I swear, you could ask 10 people in 1 day how they're doing and I feel it's safe to say that 9.999 out of those 10 are going to tell you "Oh, I'm good"... why do we lie? Why do we not just go on and spit it out? "Oh, I'm good... minus the fact that my boyfriends cheating on me, I have a sinus infection, my job sucks, I want to kill my boss, and every night when I go to bed I have to take a whole box of puffs plus because my tear stained cheeks need to be tended too..." I mean this isn't the case for me but still. In all reality when someone says "How are you?" they're not really asking you how you are... what they're really saying is "I have nothing to really say to spark up a good convo so here's a little bit of small talk to pass through this awkward run in at the grocery store while I have an economy size box of condoms in my buggy and you have a prescription of valiums and three cases of beer in yours." If I were honest everytime someone asked me how I was, I would probably be known as the town freak. I would be known as the girl that everyone knows not to ever ask, "how are you?" to.

end rant.

So here lately I've been extremely distant. Lately meaning the past two days but yeah... so anyways I've had several phone calls from friends these past two days and for some reason, even though I'm not busy, I just really don't want to answer the phone (and I don't). It's not that I'm trying to be rude but I really know the question is going to come. "How are you?" I don't want to tell them that the guy I love and I are no longer together because he's moving away and I decided I'm not moving with him. I almost feel like a joke. Like oh haha, another one of Haley's relationships has failed. Go you diva! :tears: The only problem is the fact that this one didn't go down the gutter. This relationship wasn't ended by yelling and screaming and let's see how much we can tear each other apart and who will walk away from this one alive. This relationship was ended with tears on both parts and both of us have broken hearts. Okay, I'm not going to get into this tonight cause I've cried myself asleep enough.

Tomorrow I may or may not be going to work. Depends on the weather and whether or not my dad decides to keep the businesses up-n-going or close em down because he knows business is going to suck. Hell, we should already know by now that it is going to suck. Anytime Montgomery County schools are closed due to snow business sucks and we end up closing at six instead of eight. As much as I want the hours, another part of me wants to be lazy all day. Eh, we'll see.

For now I'm going to bed though. My eyes are burning and heavy. Oh! By the way, I only have like two more days of medicine. Hoooooray!!

Okay, Goodnight all!

ZzZzZz...

I feel completely beat. I guess from where I've done nothing but rest for the past two weeks due to being sick work tonight really took it's toll. I only worked for five hours but I still feel ran down. Oh well, I gotta get back into the groove somehow.


Other than work I've done basically nothing today. I woke up and played with Jacob for a minute until he gave up and fell asleep haha. It was precious though because he had his pacifier in his mouth and he would just doze off for a minute and then start sucking his pacifier then dose back off... and the pattern continued. I can't help but to love him more and more everyday. As soon as I woke up I walked over to him and he just sat there and gave me the biggest smile. Today he turned exactly three months old and I feel like it was just yesterday he was coming home.
On another note. My sister just had to bring up mine and Jonathan's break-up as soon as I got to work. Of course, I ended up falling apart all over again. My mom had apparently told her about it because my mom was the only one that knew and my sister tried to slide it in there life oh hey what are you doing when you get off work... oh well why aren't you going to Jonathan's... yeah okay I've been her sister for 21 years I know how she works. She was trying to juice me, I'm not dumb. Plain and simple I told her and everyone else that was currently present in the room that Jonathan and I were no longer together and that I was leaving it at that until I was completely ready to talk about it. Everyone left it at that because it was apparent that I was coming unglued. It's been two days since the whole thing happened and let's be honest, I'm still a wreck. I absolutely hate knowing that I love him with all my heart and that he loves me just as much yet here we are split up. I almost want to be mad at God for putting him in my life just to take him away. Yet, I find that somehow I can't be mad. I can't be mad at God and I can't be mad at Jonathan. I don't blame Jonathan for wanting to leave Clarksville... there's nothing to offer here, Tennessee in general, really.

Okay the tears are starting to flow. My thoughts are going a million miles per hour. I can't think straight at all. I'm off for the night.

Heart Broken

I have had the worst past couple of days, wait let's make that week. First it started with me being sick. I have a UTI (urinary tract infection) and though it was suppose to clear up with one round of medicine it didn't due to it's severity. I didn't really realize anything serious was going on so of course, just like anyone else who has spent the majority of their last few years in a doctors office, I procrastinated on going to the doctor, leaving me with a UTI so bad that it set up infection between my kidneys and galbladder. Which of all things that have happened that's really the least of my worries. Due to being sick I've been out of work for over a week and a half now which doesn't help me at all with a car payment coming up and no money to pay it... not even half of it.

So as if all this has not stressed me out enough, I went to my boyfriends house last night and broke up with him. Now, under most circumstances I should not be upset but under the circumstances that it is... I am devastated. He's going to be moving in August to San Antonio, Texas. I've known about the move but it was originally set that it wouldn't be for another two years so I really didn't find probable cause in breaking up with him because who's to say where we will be at in two years as a couple. Not only is my boyfriend moving over a thousand miles away but he's also my best friend. I think back to all the memories we have made together and I completely fall apart. What's a girl to do in my situation? Stay with him and endure the time we have left together? On the other hand, breakup with him and start the moving-on process? He has asked me to go with him but I really can't leave my family. I love him and he means the world to me but my family is blood and they mean more. I feel like it would be so much easier if we had just had a huge falling out and broke up. Yet we didn't, we're still in love with each other and really don't want to be broken up. Even though we're technically not together any more we still act like it. He still calls me, we still talk like nothing is wrong, we even still have sex. I don't think I've ever been so devastated over a break up. I mean, he even just sent me a message a few weeks ago on myspace telling me that he can see me being his wife if we can work through all of our rough spots... and now this. I could always hold on to the thought that maybe he might not end up leaving. That maybe he will end up finishing his school here and finding a job that he loves... but in all reality I don't want to hold on to any of that. Wishful thinking is not always the best because what's going to happen when he does move away and I fall apart all over again? Six months will have gone by of hoping and wishing... I just can't do it to myself. But what's harder is just sitting here letting the man I love walk away.

I have a million thoughts running through my head. I have a million tears running down my cheeks throughout the day. I can't eat, all I want to do is sleep... I'm miserable. There's always that saying though, "If you truly love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be". Until then, I'm not going to sit around and twittle my thumbs. I have to move on with my life. I have to put my big girl panties on and realize that "shit happens" and I'm going to have to get over it. I just wish for once in my life I wasn't dealt the shitty hand of cards. That I actually could get a hand of cards that won it all.

I can honestly say I'm not myself right now. All the thoughts running through my head is driving me crazy. I can't think right, thus leaving me to not act right. I feel mentally paralyzed and half way speechless. I know what I want to say but the thoughts are cluttering my speech. Maybe the next post will be half way decent.

Our First Date

About Me

Behind The Name
Haley Alexandria
My fathers middle name is my first name-Haley. My middle name was chosen because my mom found it to sound extremely elegant-Alexandria. My last name was originally much longer, however my dads side of the family is Italian, so upon moving to America our name was cut off in order to blend in with the American-sounding last names.

My Geology
The first seventeen years of my life took place in Hendersonville, TN; a city where everyone knew everything about everybody. I later moved to Clarksville,Tn for my dads job; it's an army based town with not much going on yet much bigger than Hendersonville. As soon as it was time to start planning for my future I knew I wanted to go to college somewhere that was no where close to Clarksville, yet close enough for in-state tuition. I studied for my degree for two years at a college in Chattanooga, TN. Upon finding out that my sister was pregnant, I made the ultimate choice of leaving school and coming home. Meanwhile, I took over my sisters position at our dad's business while she took maturnity leave. I will be returning to school as soon as I decide where I want to continue my education. I made the decision to come home because for one, I really didn't know what I wanted to do 'when I grow up' and I wanted to take the time to decide before wasting away any more tuition money; and two since my sister was pregnant and then gave birth, I also wanted to be closer to my nephew so I could be a part of his life. So for now I will be remaining close to home in order to be close to family. I have found that Tennessee is a great place to grow up and learn the true meaning of traditions and morals.

My Family
Family to me means absolutely everything. I am so close to both of my parents it's not even funny. Many of times people have told us and made little comments that maybe we're too close. My mom is my absolute best friend in the entire world. She is the one person that understands me to the fullest. Sometimes I think she actually knows me better then I know my ownself. On the otherhand, my sister is the biggest daddy's girl known to man. In late November of 2009 my sister gave birth to my first nephew and my parents first grandchild. He means the absolute world to us and if I didn't know any better, I would truly believe that I gave birth to him. I have two uncles, one of which I see quite a bit in the summer especially when we have our little pool gatherings. The other I have no relationship with, by choice... a matter not to be discussed. Both sets of grandparents are divorced. My dads mom is remarried but I don't see her husband much, my dads dad is still single. My moms mom remarried and divorced but still to this day I claim him as a biological grandfather and no one could convince me other wise (after all he was actually the closest thing I had ever had to a grandpa while growing up). My moms dad has remarried but lives in a different state. Basically when it comes down to claiming family, my parents, sister, nephew, brother-in-law, and moms brother are really all I have. And I am a'okay with that.

My Career
I currently haven't established a "career" quite yet. I am still in the process. Right now I'm living at home and working for my dad. In the fall or next spring (depending on the school I choose) I plan on going to school in order to get my degree in Education. I really would love to teach K-5th grade. That to me is pretty ideal. Until then, I will continue working for my dad and saving as much money as possible. Hopefully in a few years I can update this and say that I am a certified Elementary school teacher. :]

My Other Half
I am currently single and do not have a boyfriend. I am really in no rush considering I am only in my 20's. Hopefully one day I will meet my 'one', til then I will continue to embrace the single life. :}

My Baby Bumbles
As far as human beings go, I have no children. However I do have two super cute furbabies that I absolutely ADORE. I have a shih-tzu named Bootie and a yorkshire terrior -mini- named Finley.

Digging A Little Deeper
I am a very laid back person. I am a fun, creative, passionate, loving, comical, random, organizational, quirky, meat-eating, book reading, music listening, movie watching, coffee drinking, nap taking, person watching, deep conversationalizing, over analytical, makeup wearing, fashion loving, socializing, crazy diva. I have multiple layers to my being and I cannot stand for people to diminish it to just one by judging me. Coffee and naps are pretty much my forte. I love to take random pictures, write in my journal, blog about life as I know it, play on picnik.com, and just have fun and love life. You could say I'm a girly girl but don't let the make-up, freshly painted toenails, and stilletos fool you... I'm not afraid to get down and dirty. I love rock wall climbing, digging in the dirt (planting flowers), zip-lining, riding my bike, working out, camping, fishing, being on the lake, walking in the park, and going on picnics. Before I die I want to try sky diving and bungee jumping. I just love anything adrenalin related really :) I'm a little kid at heart yet I'm an old woman as well and somehow i'm only in my 20s and i'm experiencing both :)

If you want to know more, feel free to e-mail me at: thehaleybarr@yahoo.com
or simply just leave a comment and I will get back to you :)