Monday, September 20, 2010

a heated conclusion

Did anyone watch the Titans VS. Steelers game yesterday? What a bummer. The first play (Pittsburg) pretty much set the tone. I would start to think we were getting somewhere, and then of course it was a set back. I had a feeling the game was going to be a tough one, but I'm just happy it was anything like 50-0... that would've sucked. However I'm going to blame it all on the heat. It was absolutely miserable outside. Anyone drinking beer really felt it afterwards, that's a definite! By the time I got home I was so dehydrated it wasn't even funny and even J didn't feel too good. There was also talk about how yesterdays game could possibly be the hottest weather to be played in. I think I can agree, I haven't been in heat like that since I can't tell you when. Literally, my skin felt like it was catching on fire, hence why we left during the third quarter.

After yesterday, I really believe that J and I are going to remain as friends. He made a joke during tailgating when a van pulled up and blocked our view. "Great, now I can't check out that gymnast looking chick" :insert ego crash, confidence failure, and blow to the heart: By that point I brushed it off and said to hell with it. I can't keep longing for something that will never be, which of course that small ounce of hope with still reside in the back of my head. I have to move on from all this. I'm refrain from all communication right now. I'm not going to text him or anything unless he texts me first and even with that there will only be a limited response back. Maybe I'm starting to put up my walls and maybe that's not the best thing to do but right now it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to feel for him the way I do so therefore I'm pulling back.

However I do want to thank the two that responded to my last post. ("What if?") I really took in what ya'll had to say. Yet by the 'signs' of yesterday I just don't ever see much coming out of it, unfortunately. Yesterday was what I have been waiting for, some clear sign. Even though he may have been joking, I know without a doubt that I'm not the girl he has his eye on. With that being said, I do hope that one day my prince charming will find me. I long to be a wife and a mother, and I definitely know that I will not feel complete until I am. Just like my mother, I know I was meant to take care of someone(s). Hopefully one day, I will be able to do just that.


  1. I really do heart you even if you were rooting for the other team LOL....I have to say here we are BIG STEELERS Fans you may or may not wanna see my post of Kelcee in her Steelers outfit LOL....

    Guys say stuff when they think you are just friends....and they really do around other guys....before I was married in H/S and College I had alot of male friends as well as female friends and one situation always stood out in my mind, I have a sweet friend who was best friends with this guy and he always just acted as friends and he always joked about other girls and such but I believe now it was to hide his true feelings because like 4 years later after college he told my friend how he really felt and guess what....yup you guessed it they are now married....and put the true meaning to marrying your best don't give up to much hope or pull away to much or he will really think something is up....

    Summer :0)

  2. I'm going to disregard the fact that you are a Steelers fan and pretend otherwise. Differences aside, I heart you too ;)

    I'm still going to be J's friend, but I just can't go on caring for him the way I do. I'm taking baby steps back, not so much a leap. I can't help but wonder if I pull away do I mean I mean enough to him for him to want to pull me back? Definitely something to think about.


Feel free to be a whore, a comment whore that is. I respond straight to your email, because I'm just that fabulous. ;)