Did anyone watch the Titans VS. Steelers game yesterday? What a bummer. The first play (Pittsburg) pretty much set the tone. I would start to think we were getting somewhere, and then of course it was a set back. I had a feeling the game was going to be a tough one, but I'm just happy it was anything like 50-0... that would've sucked. However I'm going to blame it all on the heat. It was absolutely miserable outside. Anyone drinking beer really felt it afterwards, that's a definite! By the time I got home I was so dehydrated it wasn't even funny and even J didn't feel too good. There was also talk about how yesterdays game could possibly be the hottest weather to be played in. I think I can agree, I haven't been in heat like that since I can't tell you when. Literally, my skin felt like it was catching on fire, hence why we left during the third quarter.
After yesterday, I really believe that J and I are going to remain as friends. He made a joke during tailgating when a van pulled up and blocked our view. "Great, now I can't check out that gymnast looking chick" :insert ego crash, confidence failure, and blow to the heart: By that point I brushed it off and said to hell with it. I can't keep longing for something that will never be, which of course that small ounce of hope with still reside in the back of my head. I have to move on from all this. I'm refrain from all communication right now. I'm not going to text him or anything unless he texts me first and even with that there will only be a limited response back. Maybe I'm starting to put up my walls and maybe that's not the best thing to do but right now it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to feel for him the way I do so therefore I'm pulling back.
However I do want to thank the two that responded to my last post. ("What if?") I really took in what ya'll had to say. Yet by the 'signs' of yesterday I just don't ever see much coming out of it, unfortunately. Yesterday was what I have been waiting for, some clear sign. Even though he may have been joking, I know without a doubt that I'm not the girl he has his eye on. With that being said, I do hope that one day my prince charming will find me. I long to be a wife and a mother, and I definitely know that I will not feel complete until I am. Just like my mother, I know I was meant to take care of someone(s). Hopefully one day, I will be able to do just that.