Friday, September 17, 2010

what if?

I just finished watching the movie Letters to Juliet. The beginning, in my opinion, is somewhat rocky. However if you continue to watch it, it will definitely become a tear jerker! If you've seen this movie, then you'll follow where I'm going with this quote.

"What and If are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? "

All of a sudden I'm asking myself the question "what if?" in reference to J. All along we've been friends yet all along I've wanted to be with him. I've never expressed my feelings towards him to him. So now my question is this, what if? What if I were to tell J how I really feel? With me being a hopeless romantic I want to say that he'll have the biggest smile on his face in the world and tell me he's wanted to tell me the same all along. However, realistically I can only see him and our friendship grow distant and isolated. What if I never told him? Is it possible that what could have been could never be? Do I really want to take the chance on risking everything?

I've talked to a select few about the situation yet everyone says the same thing, tell him. Why can it not be that easy? I'm in a complete battle with myself. Do I risk losing a friendship because he doesn't feel the same? Would I rather keep him as my friend because I rather cherish having him in my life then not having him at all? Do I keep quiet, continue to be just a friend, and always have that constant reminder of what will never be? Honestly, if I were to tell him how I felt only to find out the he doesn't feel the same I don't know if I could still be his friend. I think the sharp end of the knife would cut too deep and too fast for me to ever be able to communicate with him the same. Yet what if he's fighting in the same battle? What if he feels for me yet is too nervous to say anything? J is a pretty shy guy when it comes to stuff like this.

I've shed so many tears over this whole matter that I should probably buy stock in some Puffs Plus. I don't want to battle this anymore. My patience is wearing thin. I just want him to confess his love for me tell me how he really feels or at least show some sort of clear (like, windexed windows clear) sign of whether or not he's at least into me.

Relationships are never easy. Friendships, romance, and even family... none of them come easy. However, this time I really wish God would lay out a blue print for me and help a clueless, hopeless romantic girl out.

Let's pull out some Dr. Phil, let me know what you think I should do. Right now I could use any type of advice.

Hope everyone had a fabulous friday!


  1. Um sweet Haley you crack me up!! I am no Dr. Phil bahahhaha but I will try to give you some advice take it at your own risk LOL....
    I thought you and J were already a couple by looking at those photos that is why I had asked in the last post if you had met two look like you just have that chemistry! He totally looks like he is in to you!! If I were you I would ease my way into telling him ya know feel him out to see if he is getting what you are trying to say and just tell him, if he is into you and feels the same way then it is all good, if he isn't don't let that come between you and him, still be friends with him, who knows maybe he is shy and will come around it may just open a great big window of opportunity :0)

    love ya

  2. I need to get this movie.

    What if.. It really is one of the worst things to think. I hate not having control so when I do have control over something I try to do all that I can so that I dont have the What if lingering in my head. But it is inevitable. What would have happened if i would hae made this decision. What if I went to this school and not this? What if I never went to that party.

    I am no Dr. Phil but I think you need to tell J your feelings. The worst What if is when you wonder what could have been if you were honest about your feelings. I think you should tell himbecause you are torturing yourself by not. If he is into you then that is great! Or maybe he never even thought about it but just needed a little bit of a nudge (hey guys are clueless often about their own feelings) or he could not feel the same way an it may damge the relationship for a little bit. But if he is a good guy then you will be fine and it will help you move on because you will have the answer. :)

    Hope that helps

  3. I absolutely love that movie.
    Liking a friend is always the most complicated. If you don't feel comfortable flat out telling him, you could try making jokes about you two dating, and kind of test his reaction.
    Good luck with whatever you decide to go with! It's tricky situation.


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