Saturday, April 24, 2010

fire on aisle 9

Is it me, or does everyone have a huge obsession/love for some Wally World? Seriously, I could go and spend hours upon hours wandering around! (side note: my past roomate, Courtney, and I use to go to Wal-Mart with only each other cause all of our other friends were always wanting to get in-and-out yet we always want to explore) Nevertheless, this week I went to Wal-mart and had a very successful shopping trip. Probably spending more than I should have, but come on! Who can deny those roll back prices!! Anywayssss. In spite of it being earth day, I bought a eco-friendly bath body pouf! I originally picked up a not eco-friendly pouf, then saw the ones that were... I decided to go with it instead. It never hurts to get a little more green! Okay, plus it was three cents cheaper... but that wasn't my deciding factor.

Along with my new eco-friendly toy, I bought the basic necessities. Body wash, a few last-minute cosmetics (being that I normally shop MAC and MAC only...), some deoderant, my mom's mother day present, and a few greeting cards. (I've been feeling like I need to start sending more cards here lately, I don't know why but I feel like I do, but I'll save that for a later elaboration!)

So as I head towards the checkout lines I always go through them and kinda see who has what and how many shoppers, etc. ::keep pushing shopping cart:: Scccccccuurrr! (that's the sound of my carts breaks, if you must know) Hello checkout number 9! Never once have I seen a hot wal-mart employee. Number 9... oh my gosh... you are SEX-AY! So I pull my cart in, of course making sure I don't have any embarrassing items ie. condoms (because I buy them so often :sarcasm:), tampons, ...monistat? Nope, I'm in the clear. I wait behind the one person that is in his line. Of course, being my seductive-sexy-just got off of work- no make-up-rough hair... I stand there admiring hot boy number 9. OH OH OH! It's my turn. My turn to watch him scan my items, mmmhmmm!! Wait, what, NO!! As I pull up this fat girl comes up and says, "Okay, you can go on break now". WTF, seriously fat ass, now? Bitch. As I try to keep my composure I think about how bad I want to bitch slap this fatty-fat-so who just stole my one moment to meet the sexy number nine. He could've been my soul mate, she interfered with fate! (okay seriously, I wasn't that torn up over it but it makes a good story, riiiight!?!)

Continue rant:
I leave, put my stuff in the car, turn on 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' by Def Leppard... and if you haven't figured it out yet- I hold "Haley Idol" in my car no matter where I'm going. So I pull out of my parking spot meanwhile singing extremely loud- like windshield shattering style, and who's helping an elderly woman take her stuff to her car? Number 9 :enter orgasm: :orgasm abruptly ends when realizing he is staring at me like I've lost my mind: Sigh. Obviously it wasn't meant to be. Duh. I basically laughed all the way home about the incident. Probably because I feel like something as stupid as that would only happen to me.

I thought I would entertain you all with my fascinating Wal-mart trip, or maybe it's only fascinating to me. Either way, at least I posted at all. Tootles for now my lovely readers.

[Side note: Make sure you watch out for my May 1st post. It's pretty damn special.]


  1. lol i do NOT have a love for all things walmart and actually i only shop there because in moscow, that's literally it. if we want target we go north two hours. if we want shopko we have to drive 8 miles across the washington border and down some back roads.

    but i laughed at your story anyway. i've had a few inncidents with hot guys that turned into me ruining whatever chance i thought i had. haha.

    too bad you didn't get to find out if he was your soul mate. perhaps a repeat wally world trip to see if you can change fate?

  2. You have me rolling in the floor laughing!!! That is freakin' hilarious! I honestly try to steer clear of Wal-Mart lol. Sounds like you make your trips fun though! I loved this story!!

  3. I just laughed so hard I almost peed a little! I am rolling over this story! Sooo you were in the clear with your buggy, fluffing your work hair and um WHAT it was his break....that would so happen to me too! O.K. Hailey we are so alike I love Pour Some Sugar on Me and I jam like nobody's business but what is the odds that he seen you do it....That is Ha-larious....who knows maybe you have made a lasting impression on him and you may actually be soul matey's after all! It would make for a great how did you first meet story :0)

    love you
    Summer ;0)

    P.S. I am still laughing....

  4. And I thought I was the only one who roamed Wal-Mart at LEAST once a week, looking at just about everything. They have everything. Plus it's the one store me and the boyfriend can both look around in without one of us getting too bored.

    Haley-idol lol. Love it. Def Leppard is my favorite. You just can't NOT rock out to that song in the car.

    You tell the funniest stories.


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